A Wife Less Ordinary

by Susan Campos

With The Starter Wife, her third Hollywood-tweaking novel, Gigi Levangie Grazer has kicked it up a notch. Despite the fact that she shares a bed and two children with high-haired superproducer Brian Grazer, she’s far from just another subservient industry wifey, destined, like the protagonist of her new novel, to be cast aside for some pop tartlet who wiggles her ass in the proximity of her husband. Gigi, who has also written The Colony, a soapy pilot about Malibu life set to air on ABC next year, has cultivated a certain otherness among filmdom’s better halfs. Exhibit A: She hates to shop. I sat down and compared notes with my old friend about the trials of marrying into the business.

RADAR: Your novel concerns the wife of a movie mogul who’s consumed by his position in the industry. Do you think that’s a particularly common mindset in Hollywood?

GIGI LEVANGIE GRAZER: Hollywood is obsessed with lists. Every magazine that covers Hollywood has a list. Everyone knows who is on the list and who has dropped off. In this town, no one fails in silence.

I know he’s always used as the example these days, but has there ever been a more public downfall than Mike Ovitz’s?

It’s so Shakespearean. You couldn’t have predicted this. Everyone was afraid of Mike Ovitz. Everyone here lives in fear of the day the phone calls stop coming, which is why I avoid the whole phone thing.

Your book’s protagonist, Gracie Pollock, often feels invisible when she accompanies her husband to Hollywood events. What is it about this place?

It’s a one-horse town. And it’s not just a writer or actor or director seeking out a deal who can make you feel invisible. Even restaurant hostesses can make you feel that way here.

What’s the best way to handle being ignored?

Let them know in a subtle way you exist. The way I do it is to say, “What the fuck do you want?” Ignore me at your own peril.

Or you could choose the Kimora Lee Simmons route and just threaten to kick the bitch’s ass.

Kimora’s great. There was this former model at the Vanity Fair Oscar party who was like a heat-seeking missile with one woman’s husband in particular. This model wasn’t even going after Kimora’s husband, and Kimora was still getting pissed.

Who would you most like to get a fan letter from?

Warren Buffet. I think he’s hot!

Hmmm. Why?

The man drives a Lincoln Town Car. ’Nuff said.

I feel that maybe the metrosexual thing has been taken too far out here. Is it just me, or are we surrounded by androgynous men?

There are two kinds of men in Hollywood: the gay single man and the gay married man. But, honestly, I hear men in Hollywood are becoming asexual. I’ve heard of women going on dates and not even getting a nibble.

Really?

I think work has become the new sex. And in some ways it can be more satisfying. I mean, you don’t have to take work out to dinner. And work doesn’t complain if you come home late from work.

Before you married Brian you dated a bit in Hollywood. Did you ever go with out an agent?

I dated an agent briefly. He was small but enthusiastic. We had just started dating, and I thought it was becoming something, and then he said, “We could do business together.”

Did you ever date a studio executive?

No, they wouldn’t have me.

What about an actor?

I was actually once married to a sort-of actor. But, no, I’m not attracted to famous actors.

Why not?

I need some mirror time. I want to be prettier than the guy I’m dating.

When you met Brian, how long did it take before you knew he was the guy?

Actually, it was love at first barb. He opened his mouth and I knew. He was hysterical. He had been dating a lot of models and actresses, and I think he was ready for something a little more dull.

When you met him, was he wearing his hair the way he does now?

It wasn’t as high.

It’s gotten higher?

Yes it has. He hides his money up there.

Random question: Do you like mustaches on men?

I’ve never dated a man with a mustache. Many men in Hollywood have beards. But they call them “wives.” I’m half Bulgarian, so I prefer my mustaches on women.

How often do you base the characters in your books on real people in Hollywood?

Only all the time. In the latest book there’s a character based on this man we know. I told him I was putting him in the book, and he replied, “Just give him a big dick.”

So did you?

Of course.

You wrote a pilot for The Colony, which is going to be on ABC. Of course, there’s the real life soap opera of Kevin and Britney Spears. What would you name their unborn child?

Insurance Federline.

In your books you’ve been pretty fearless about taking shots at the industry. Aren’t you afraid of the consequences?

I really do try not to write anything that’s going to hurt someone’s feelings. But I’m really not afraid. I mean, what are people going to do? Fire me? Not say hello to me?

The Starter Wife will be published on June 2 (Simon & Schuster; $24).

Photo: Courtesy of author