Also, so hard-working-for-taxpayers that he squeezes in a bit of last-minute bill-perusal in the moments of Bill's long-winded introduction? That's a masterstroke.

"Ideological virginity?!" Barney Frank is your cool, crotchety old uncle--who happens to be into other dudes, which is completely fine.

Would it kill 'er to play some fuckin' Tull? Preferably something off Thick As A Brick? "Aqualung," anyone?

"If your wife and Sarah McCain win in November..." Where to begin on THAT slip?

I can never watch Airwolf again the same way knowing Ernie's cranking out a Dirty Dozen or so a day.

well, so what! she's not like ... tall.

I enjoy finger painting as much as the next dad, but wouldn't a more appropriate medium for this artist be doodie?

Hey, what the hell did I do? Fyi: AWESOME photo of Katy Perry and "Useful Tips" from the adorable chanteuse in the upcoming Sept. issue of Blender!!!!!

how coincidental!

You know a certain boy band founder (and, coincidentally the man who actually owned the old Chippendales) is RUINING his 5X prison jumpsuit at the very thought of this sort of thing. Is that Aaron Carter out front?

also, thank god the equestrian magazine I freelanced for isn't registered with Nexis.

He might try and pretend he isn't a motivator of people, but It's a testament to Balk's management ability that he didn't use words like "grumpy," "self-righteous," "cantankerous," or "snaggletoothed" in this post.

Alternate photo captions: ORLANDO INK, DREAMWORKS' FAVORITE REPORTER, or T BAGGED

Updated this item from an earlier version after talking to Lustra guitarist. --tgray

Easy, Bones. It's a joke.

The main effect of a life lived with one's head up one's ass is debatable, but it's not creating a Curious George themed Obama shirt. I think. Checking.

Statutes of limitations, I believe, only apply if a person hasn't been charged. R. Kelly has. --Tyler Gray, Esq.

But he IS Radar

Remember when hot young blondes donned tank tops and got on a dude's shoulders and just bounced the night away to high-octane rock from handlebar Bob? Me neither. I was born in the wrong goddamn decade. Rotten deal.

More attainable was the goal set by early '90s, Al Jorgenson, Revolting Cocks supergroup 1,000 Homo DJs.

Ha! There's a post on this subject moments away! Hint: the director of the film from which this youtube clip is culled says it's a hosejob. Stay tuned!

An earlier version of this story associated this premiere with the Tribeca Film Festival. It is not.

I changed the link to the Lawrence Woodcraft interview to Xenu TV, which deserves the credit for the original material. Sorry about the confusion. Tgray

Sacrilege indeed! Editor mistake. Ironically, Spanish Bombs played during the subway ride home. A harbinger, I suppose.

hmm. I don't know. What a fascinating idea, though. I'm going to go to your website right now and check it out. Maybe I'll tell friends. Of all races. And maybe, just maybe, along the way you'll get filthy stinking rich.

We had you in mind.

only at the end of a very, very long day.

Also, McCain totally called his own wife a trollopy cunt. Which, although constitutionally protected, is just kind of foul.

oh, yeah! another tom cruise mask moment!

Don't you have an eBay auction to manage, Ms. Snow?

niceone, krosavcheg. Check out the latest: http://radaronline.com/exclusives/2008/04/michelle-caruso-cabrera-cnbc-maria-bartiromo-gary-parr-china-pictures-maria-bartiromo.php

Thanks!

ditto if Britney goes back to K-Fed.

One thing's' clear: This is NOT Conor Oberst's fault.

Hey, guys. Just hopped back on. Did you need my help here?

Good point. Here is the follow-up questions I have posed to the spokesperson: "is it possible that the person who delivered a package to Jonathan, formerly of Anonymous, was a working in any capacity -- as a lawyer or PI or in any capacity -- for the Church of Scientology? In other words, was he there on Church business?"

Further: "Would you say the Church condones or condemns someone (affiliated or not) showing up in person to a Scientology opponent's residence and making accusations of terrorism, coupled with multimedia materials that do the same, to that person's parents? Put another way, does the Church feel Jonathan or his parents deserved a visit?"

Response, hopefully, forthcoming.

Right, left, gay, straight... details. Actually, I think that's Details' tagline.

Oh, crap, no! I totally forgot to post that! Thanks, and be sure to remind me again on the next post if you don't see it pop up there, 'kay? While I've gotcha, do you happen to know where I can get a quality knockoff designer timepiece?

Also, everyone, Heidi has lost her scarlet macaw. It's a rare bird (and not a metaphor for something sexual, perv). It's somewhere in the Parumph, Nevada, area. If you're near there, keep an eye out, will you? The recent arrest and criminal background stuff just rolls off of Heidi's back, but she's broken up over the bird. Real talk.

Is Jeff Conaway "people"?

Not bad. But, as anyone who's lived in Greenpoint or Williamsburg or the outer edges of Bushwick will attest, disowning your parents is one of the pillars of hipsterdom, polar bear name or not. Now where's this month's trust fund disbursement? I need coffee.

You know who else is big in Europe? David Hasselhoff. (P.S. What's a "google"?)

Why does this shot look familiar (answer: http://www.peace.ca/kimstory.htm)?

Connor Oberst. Totally.

Postscript: Looking harder at this photo, please note the unruly single nose hair taking up a prominent position, like Rush himself, on the right.

sinicalypse, if this is the same guy from the post above and not some enterprising commenter borrowing his name (in which case we say very creative!), email tgraydar@gmail.com and let's talk more about this. I'll bring the 1.21 jigawatts.

Ladies and gentlemen: the Tom Sullivan demo.

A solid third of recovering addicts presently report having tried "quad biking with the Osbourne family."