Senior Moment

Indiana Jones isn't the only notable celebrity with a sell-by date

This article is from the May/June issue of Radar Magazine. For a risk-free issue, click here.

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RAIDER OF THE LOST SPARK Harrison Ford as Indiana Jones
What summer blockbuster is most likely to make audiences fear its star will fall and break his hip? Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, starring 65-year-old Harrison Ford and his threadbare fedora. Though the senior-discount recipient bears little resemblance to the witty adventurer who first fled boulders in 1981, apparently no one thought to recast the role with an actor who can walk and talk a bit faster than Snuffleupagus.

Unnervingly, John McCain's equally sluggish demeanor hasn't slowed his quest to become the oldest president ever elected. After railing at his campaign aides for making him wear "gay sweaters" to soften his image, McCain, 71, accidentally called himself a liberal. Yes, he corrected the error, but do we really want the person answering that red phone at 3 a.m. to be operating under the illusion that he's Janeane Garafalo?

These two otherwise lovable elders aren't the only ones who refuse to pull a Fidel and shuffle gracefully out of the spotlight. Old people are exhaustedly running the world. From Larry King to Barbara Walters, geriatrics no longer at the top of their game maintain a stranglehold on high-profile positions that could, and arguably should, be occupied by more vital, capable youngsters (and by that we mean anyone under 70). Radar reviews the prospects of seven problematically senior citizens and nominates some worthy successors.



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(Photo: Getty Images)
Larry King - 74 years old
There isn't a single transcript of King's CNN talk show over the past few years that doesn't reveal his tragic unsuitability for the gig. "Can we get a résumé in here for me that Larry can go over?" asked Jerry Seinfeld last year, after King wondered if Seinfeld had been canceled. Four months earlier, King couldn't figure out which Beatle he was talking to, calling Ringo "George." It doesn't help that, as of 2006, he still had "never gone searching" on the Internet.
Status: His contract, a reported $7 million a year, expires in 2009; he's said he hopes to stay on until 2017.
Who Will Replace: Though King wants Ryan Seacrest, Diane Sawyer has also been mentioned.
Who Should Replace: The (slightly) harder-hitting Anderson Cooper.

Continue >>

 


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