Dreams Deferred

(continued)

NO. 42 Trying to catch 24-hour Laundromat in a lie

26. Too many high school grudges to settle

27. Filled humidifier with Red Bull

28. Keep rolling off roof

29. Staying up one more hour to see how Ron Popeil will blow your mind this time

30. Constantly interrupted by Christmas ghosts

31. Pillow is stuffed with bad checks written to the mob

32. Still pumped from John Stossel's latest "Give Me a Break" segment

33. Recurring nightmares about Sting and his lute

34. Cage is too small

35. Neighbor has his car alarm sensitivity set at "Gentle Breeze"

36. Aliens never seem to run out of things to learn from your rectum

37. Don't want to lose place in line for Hannah Montana tickets

38. Free futon you found behind Applebee's not the boon you imagined

39. New perm is too tight

40. The dream catcher above your bed is on the fritz

41. Homemade meth is a titch too strong

42. Trying to catch 24-hour Laundromat in a lie

43. Can't remember where you put that baby

44. Sweating out a garlic binge

45. Your floor plan: living room, LaGuardia runway, bedroom

46. Still a little nervous about the wine glass on the corner of the Tempur-Pedic

47. Because if you don't live-blog the 3:30 a.m. M.A.S.H. rerun, who the hell will?

48. The man next to you on the Greyhound just whispered in your ear: "If you're tired, you can rest your mouth on my genitals"

49. Sudoku

50. By not sleeping, have seven extra hours each day to drive through store windows

05/22/08

Related: Radar 100

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This article is terrible. Family Circus is funnier than this crap.

Posted by: Brendon on June 7, 2008 1:14 AM

Brendon is a terrible person. Seriously, I would rather have my eyelids crusted over with AIDS crumbs than see his terrible name on my screen, or read his utterly pointless criticism. Brendon = awful.

Posted by: vanpatten on June 19, 2008 12:08 PM

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Dreams Deferred

(continued)

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