(continued)

51. "Lemme guess. Korean?"
52. "You look like someone who wants to see genuine autopsy photos—am I right, or am I right?"
53. "Allow me to quote my good friend Jared Fogle. Yes, of Subway commercial fame."
54. "Pretty real-looking for plugs, eh?"
55. [Tapping skull.] "Feel for the metal plate."
56."Okay, the object of this game is to write a 20-page essay on the historical figure you just drew from my hat. You have three hours. Go."
57. "I've said it before, and I'll say it again: 'The more you Mace me, the harder I love.'"
58. "Apropos of nothing, I'm going to call you 'Peanut Butter Guy.'"
59–64. "Anybody ever tell you that you look like a young..." (59) "Frida Kahlo?" (60) "Jackie Mason?" (61) "Stephen Hawking?" (62) "Bea Arthur?" (63) "Ed McMahon?" (64) "Rocky Dennis from the movie Mask?"
65. "Just out of curiosity, how good are you at protecting yourself against identity theft?"
66. "Let's cut out the bullshit, shall we? How much is this gonna cost me?"
67."Do you remember where you were when you first heard Blues Traveler?"
68. "So, I'm like, 'I'll show you who's afraid to stare directly at the sun!'"
69. "Do you know the host well, or are you just blackmailing him with photos of his daughter fellating her driving instructor like I am?"
70. "See if you can guess which of my hands is holding the homemade béarnaise sauce."
71.[Declining a cigarette.] "Thanks, but I don't have a death wish."
72. "Have you ever been to Narnia? It's really quite beautiful."
73. "I think it's so cool that you're black."
74. "What's your all-time favorite coupon?"
75. "Can you believe the price of abortions these days? Honestly."
76. "I could shatter your trachea with a single finger."
77. "Gather 'round if you love limericks."
78. "True story: Joey Fatone dated my cousin."
79. "You know who I hate? All those poseurs who claim to be Wiccan without understanding the first thing about the Law of Threefold Return."
80. "May I propose a toast? To the innocent people who were horribly tortured and executed this morning in Darfur. Salud!"
81. "I see that you're admiring my Native American headdress. I made it myself with found items."
82. "Do my palms smell weird?"
83. "I wouldn't call them actual voices. More like hyenas scratching at the walls of my brain."
84. "The Muppets are bullshit, and let me tell you why."
85. "How much do you make a year? And, more important, what feeds your soul?"
86. "I'd like to now perform my scat version of 'The Star-Spangled Banner.'"
87. [Applying hand sanitizer.] "Nothing personal."
88. "'I am not a thief!' That was Richard Nixon. I'd now like to impersonate Homer Simpson."
89–92. "You look familiar. Didn't we once meet at..." (89) "a July 11, 1988, Captain Eo screening?" (90) "Andy Dick's hotel suite?" (91) "my mom's funeral?" (92) "Woodstock '94?"
93. "Do you have a minute for Greenpeace?"
94. "Where can I park my unicycle?"
95. "When was the last time you stared into the headlights of an oncoming car and thought, Is today the day I grow a pair?"
96. "Everything Smurfy over here?"
97. "I really think M. Night Shyamalan is an auteur in the traditional sense."
98. [Laughing nervously.] "You're just going to talk to me until someone better comes along, aren't you?"
99. "You know what would be fun? Trust falls."
100. "They're night-vision goggles, and no, I won't be removing them."