Worst Toys

Very Bad Toys

Radar looks back at the most dangerous playthings of all time

By Paige Ferrari

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CHILD'S PLAY At least Polly Pocket didn't cause gaping flesh wounds

It has not been a good year for toys, and for toy giant Mattel in particular. First, the company recalled 1.5 million of their Sesame Street and Nickelodeon plastic toys, after discovering that the smiling faces of Elmo and the gang contained high levels of toxic lead paint. Then the killjoys at the Consumer Product Safety Commission struck again—18.2 million Polly Pocket and related dolls worldwide were also recalled because their tiny magnets could cause intestinal blockage or perforation if swallowed. Mattel wasn't the only corporation slowly whittling away at America's youth. Earlier this month, Aqua Dots from the Spin Master corporation were recalled when it turned out that, if swallowed, the balls could render kids comatose.

With over 10 million units of toys recalled in the United States in the past year alone, one could assume that we live in dangerous times. But, as anyone who has chucked a lawn dart knows, lethal Sesame Street pals and bowel-ripping Polly Pockets are kids' stuff compared to the hazardous baubles of yesteryear.

In this spirit, Radar presents an updated version of the most dangerous toys of all time—those treasured playthings that drew blood, chewed digits, took out eyes, and, in one case, actually irradiated. To keep things interesting, we excluded BB guns, slingshots, throwing stars, and anything else actually intended to inflict harm. Below, our toy box from hell.

TRIPPIN' DOTS The rainbow-colored culprits

1. AQUA DOTS
Beloved children's toys of old have oft allowed youngsters to ape questionable adult behavior. (See candy cigarettes and those lovably trampy Bratz dolls) but the most recent addition to pantheon of dangerous toys—Aqua Dots from the Spin Master corporation—took it to the next level. The beads were part of a craft kit that was intended to let children created "multidimensional designs." But when water was added to the plastic balls, the outside coating actually became toxic. The result: Curious tykes who licked the balls enjoyed the effects of date-rape drug GHB, long before their college years. Sure, it sounds cool. But victims of Aqua Dots could become "comatose, develop respiratory depression, or have seizures." The toxic dots, which were labeled as appropriate for kids ages 4 and up, were recalled earlier this month, halting many untoward games of "doctor," but robbing a generation of young artisans the chemical enhancement they so richly deserve.

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2. Lawn Darts

DEATH FROM ABOVE Respect the Jart or it will destroy you

Removable parts? Suffocation risk? Lead paint? Pussy hazards compared to the granddaddy of them all. Lawn Darts, or "Jarts," as they were marketed, would never fly in our current ultraparanoid, safety-helmeted, Dr. Phil toy culture. Lawn darts were massive weighted spears. You threw them. They stuck where they landed. If they happened to land in your skull, well, then you should have moved. During their brief (and generally awesome) reign in 1980s suburbia, Jarts racked up 6,700 injuries and four deaths.

STOP TOSS MEASURES The lawn dart was put on the permanent no-fly list in 1988

The best part about Jarts was that they eliminated all speculation from true outdoor fun. (Is this dangerous? Hell yes, now chuck it!) And they were equal opportunity: All it took to play lawn darts was a sweaty grip. For good measure, it was also nice to have a small sibling around to stand on the other side of the house and tell you how your throw looked (and by how much you cleared the chimney).

The actual rules of lawn darts, as laid out by the manufacturer, were never important. No one is known to have used Jarts for their intended purpose. It shouldn't be surprising, then, that an accident involving a wayward spear and the semipermeable head of a 7-year-old resulted in the toys being banned from the market in 1988. Sadly, today's underage boys will never know the primal excitement of a summer's evening spent impaling friends before suppertime.

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CAN'T TAKE THE HEAT? Then get out of the small, plastic, digit-destroying kitchen

3. THE NEW EASY-BAKE OVEN
Easy-Bake Ovens have been around since the 1950s. But the "New Easy-Bake Oven," much like The New Leave It to Beaver and Saved by the Bell: The New Class, had horrible shortcomings. The oven's bright-pink front opening lured future homemakers in, promising them the joy and whimsy of consequence-free pastry making. But for 77 master bakers, the New Easy-Bake Oven actually become an incinerator of woe. According to the CSPC, the oven received 249 reports of children who thrust their eager hands into the toy's front-loading oven, only to find their mitts were stuck. Casualties include "77 reports of burns, 16 of which were reported as second- and third-degree burns," and "one report of a serious burn that required a partial finger amputation to a 5-year-old girl." For those easy-bakers who ended up in the burn unit, the secret ingredient was not love, but a skin graft.

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4. Gilbert U-238 Atomic Energy Lab

FISSION BUDDY Fallout shelter not included

Honey, why is your face glowing? In 1951, A.C. Gilbert introduced his U-238 Atomic Energy Lab, a radioactive learning set we can only assume was fun for the whole math club. Gilbert, who American Memorabilia claims was "often compared to Walt Disney for his creative genius," had a dream that nuclear power could capture the imaginations of children everywhere. For a mere $49.50, the kit came complete with three "very low-level" radioactive sources, a Geiger-Mueller radiation counter, a Wilson cloud chamber (to see paths of alpha particles), a spinthariscope (to see "live" radioactive disintegration), four samples of uranium-bearing ores, and an electroscope to measure radioactivity.

MUTUALLY ASSURED INSTRUCTION Junior Einsteins had everything they needed, except a hazmat suit

And what nuclear lab for kids would be complete without an Atomic Energy Manual and Learn How Dagwood Splits the Atom comic book? (The latter was written with the help of General Leslie Groves, director of the Manhattan Project.)

Kids do the darndest things, but not, apparently, nuclear physics. The toy was only sold for one year. It's unclear what effects the uranium-bearing ores might have had on those few lucky children who received the set, but exposure to the same isotope—U-238—has been linked to Gulf War syndrome, cancer, leukemia, and lymphoma, among other serious ailments. Even more uncertain is the long-term impact of being raised by the kind of nerds who would give their kid an Atomic Energy Lab.

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5. Mini-Hammocks from EZ Sales

SWING AND A PRAYER One false move on the Mini-Hammock and leisure turned to seizure

Mini-hammocks seemed innocuous enough. No projectiles, no lead paint, no sharp edges, and no explicit danger (except sloth). But between the years of 1984 and 1995, the EZ Sales Mini-Hammock, oft marketed under the name Hang Ten, managed to hang 12.

WEB OF DESPAIR If death by seating is to be your fate, we recommend the electric chair

CPSC reported in August 1996 that the product had resulted in the fatal and near-fatal asphyxiation of dozens of kids ages 5 to 17 and recalled three million of them. Among the banned EZ products were Hangouts Baby Hammocks, or "Baby's First Death Cocoon," woven from thin cotton and nylon strings.

The culprit was a missing set of "spreader bars," supports meant to keep the hammock open when it was "at ease." Unfortunately, children seeking to spend an afternoon like Gilligan became entangled in the net and strangled to death. That's what happens when you spend $4 on a hammock.

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6. Snacktime Cabbage Patch Dolls

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SHOCK AND GNAW She might not have been human, but her hunger pains were all too real

"Feed Me!" begged the packaging for 1996's Cabbage Patch Snacktime Kid. And much like the carnivorous Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors, the adorable lineup of Cabbage Patch snack-dolls appeared at first to be harmless. They merely wanted a nibble—a carrot perhaps, or maybe some yummy pudding. They would stop chewing when snack time was done—they promised. Then they chomped your child's finger off.

In creating this innovative new toy, the great minds at Mattel devised a motorized mouth that sensed neither pleasure nor pain. It chewed for chewing's sake. With no mechanism to turn off the munching should trouble arise, it was only a matter of time before some cherub's long blond hair got caught in the doll's rabid jaws. After 35 fingers and ponytails fell victim, the Snacktime Kids were removed from retail shelves forever, and 500,000 customers were offered a full $40 refund.

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7. Sky Dancers

THE NUTCRACKER Keep your distance from this femme fatale

Executives at Galoob Toys predicted big sales for Christmas 1994. With their new Sky Dancer, they would be the first toy company to combine the sparkly femininity of Barbie with the firepower of a bottle rocket.

In December of that same year, a New York Times article predicted that if Galoob met its goals, Sky Dancer would "be all the rage, the sort of product that engenders black markets, toy-related bribes, and giddy newspaper stories invoking the word 'phenomenon.'" The writer, giddy himself over the "sprite's powerful launch," added, "For every parent who doubts Sky Dancer's safety ... there are 10 who feel the foam wings and take their softness as an assurance of safety."

But six years later, the Sky Dancer was grounded. When spun aloft, the wings—which felt so soft and cushy in the aisles of Toys "R" Us—turned into steely-hard child manglers. In 2000, the CPSC announced that more than 150 children fell prey to Sky Dancer's helicopter-blade arms and erratic "Oh-Jesus-it's-chasing-me!" flying patterns. Injuries included scratched corneas and temporary blindness, mild concussions, broken ribs and teeth, and facial lacerations that required stitches. Nearly nine million Sky Dancers were eventually recalled, leaving aspiring ballerinas to earn their battle scars the old fashioned way—with an eating disorder.

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8. Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun

CROTCH ROCKET That's not the kind of pelvic thrust Suzy had in mind

Some kids had belt buckles. Others had cap guns. Only the lucky ones had the Bat Masterson Derringer Belt Gun, a two-in-one combo that took care of all your pants-securing needs with the option every 10-year-old dreams of: the ability to shoot caps at groin level.

One Bat Masterson enthusiast, identified as "Tim from Shoreview, Maine" on nostalgia website boomberbaby.com, remembers, "When you stuck out your stomach, putting pressure on the buckle, a small gun would pop out and fire a cap." A gut-busting meal, in that case, could lead to a serious friendly-fire mishap.

According to SafeKids USA, "Caps can be ignited by friction and cause serious burns." Every young boy needs to learn the valuable lesson of always protecting his nether regions, with force if necessary, but given the positioning of the Derringer, the owner's greatest enemy might have actually been puberty.

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9. Creepy Crawlers

THE FRYING GAME Horse around with the Thingmaker and you'll get the third degree

Nothing says safety like an open hot plate. And nothing says fun like using that open hot plate to create molten, rubbery insects you can throw at your sister while narrowly avoiding setting the house ablaze. The 1964 Creepy Crawler Thingmaker from Mattel, a distant cousin of today's Creepy Crawler toys, came with a series of molds, tubes of "plastigoop," and an open-faced fryer, which could heat up to a nerve-searing 310 degrees.

FLESH DIRECT The molds came in many different varieties, but rarely in the shape of your little brother's hand

The plastigoop was poured over an extremely hot surface and then cast into the molds of various multicolored critters. The results? Fingerprint removal. At least those who dodged serious injury or disfigurement could safely eat their creation. Oh wait, the critters were toxic, too. But this was the '60s, and though there was an outcry from the singed and sickened masses, Mattel went right on marketing their electric ovens to children.

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10. Johnny Reb Cannon

WHISTLING DIXIE Through the new hole in your head

The South did rise again, at least during playtime for the owners of the Johnny Reb, a 30-inch "authentic Civil War" cannon draped in the Confederate flag. The Reb fired hard plastic cannonballs with a spring mechanism—the aspiring secessionist need only pull a lanyard. No word on exactly how fast the cannonballs flew, but they traveled up to 35 feet and seemed perfectly sized to lodge into an eye socket, down an open mouth, or through a slave's window.

For only $11.98, young rebels got a cannon, six cannonballs, a ramrod, and a rebel flag. What better way to permanently maim your little brother while spreading valuable lessons about states' rights?

SCHLOCK AND LOAD This must-watch 1961 commercial for the Reb features the catchy jingle, "We'll all be gay when Johnny comes marching home!" Click play—you'll thank us.

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11. Battlestar Galactica Missile Launcher

READY, AIM, CHOKE Never underestimate the stopping power of a tiny plastic missile

Battlestar Galactica was everyone's favorite television Star Wars rip-off in 1978. Especially cool among the Battlestar offerings was a series of missile launchers known individually as the Viper, the Cylon Raider, the Scarab, and the Stellar Probe. Young boys routinely forgot they actually asked for the Millennium Falcon for Christmas once they saw the sweet, sweet projectile action.

It takes just a few jabbed eyes, some torn intestines, and the death of a child to bring down a party, and that's just what happened in January 1979, when the battle cruiser missiles were finally recalled. Most of the accidents were caused by salvos that went tragically off target. Mattel, working with the CPSC, announced that the fatality occurred when a young boy in Atlanta fired one of the missiles into his mouth. The missiles, at one-and-a-quarter inches, were just about the ideal size to land in one's esophagus and stay there. The boy's parents thought so, too. They sued Mattel for $14 million.

A spokesperson from the CPSC explained that "the barrel shape of the toy seemed to invite children to put it in their mouths." Something you could apparently say in 1979 without too much snickering. After the injuries, Mattel called for consumers to participate in a "Missile Mail-In," which promised a free Hot Wheels car—a fair trade to anyone who disarmed.

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12. Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle

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QUEASY RIDER From zero to broken arm in 39 seconds

The Fisher-Price Power Wheels Motorcycle is one of those toys kids salivate over for years. Even adults can barely contain their jealousy when the little brat from down the block whizzes by on that shiny plastic hog. But the ride wasn't always so smooth. In fact, on some models, there was a rather serious glitch.

Eager youngsters who gunned the throttle found that it often stayed gunned, stuck in a petrifying state of perma-acceleration. Presumably, the child on the motorcycle was then taken on a hellish, intestine-twisting scream ride. At one point, he or she would face choices unthinkable except in an Evel Knievel-meets-Knight Rider crossover episode: Do I jump? Or do I ride it out and see if I can clear the gully? Is it sentient? Can it be reasoned with?

In August 2000, Fisher-Price recalled 218,000 of the Power Wheels motorcycles, warning: "Children can be injured when the motorcycle ride-ons fail to stop and strike other objects." Stunt children everywhere observed a moment of silence.

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LOW DOWN Limbo lunacy

Honorable Mention #1: The Chicken Limbo Party Game

FOUL PLAY The Chicken Limbo Party Game

What childhood would be complete with the memory of limboing under an oversize plastic chicken? But the Chicken Limbo Party Game, which seemed so inspired, had a darker side. The problem was with the Chicken Limbo support poles, which were unstable and, with the slightest breeze, could tumble on even the most flexible of tots, hitting them (and bystanders) with the business end of the chicken. The CPSC reports that Milton Bradley has received 46 reports of the game collapsing, and subsequent injuries have included "bumps, bruises, welts, and red marks, one chipped tooth, and one fractured foot." In 2006, 461,000 of the toys were recalled, with the CPSC recommending that "consumers should take the recalled Chicken Limbo Game away from children immediately." (Something parents concerned about the popularity and spinal alignment of their progeny perhaps should have considered beforehand.)

Honorable Mention #2: Manley Toys Disco Light

DISCO INFERNO The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire! Seriously

The brightly colored disco ball cost 1,500 Chuck E. Cheese tickets. For the average skee-baller, that adds up to about 15 months of play at a cost of approximately $20,000. If reports are accurate, the hard-won dance aide could also burn down your house. When left on too long, the ball's multicolored sides begin to melt. The plastic goop then slides down to your shag carpet, creating a foul-smelling inferno of plastic, hair, and light bulb filament. At least, that's what we assume happened in Jacksonville, Florida, when the innocuous looking orb, presumably left on after an extensive dance party, wrought death and destruction in May of this year, according to reports.

The case is still pending and the disco balls have yet to be recalled, but Chuck E. Cheese did see fit to remove them from his prize arsenal, and the manufacturer has since added a warning. Dancers are now advised to use the fun sphere for no longer than four hours at a time, which is about four hours longer than any kid should be discoing. The real danger here is probably less to dancing children than to the transfixed pot smoker.

LIFESTYLES OF THE RICH & FASCIST>>

12/05/06 6:41 AM
Related: Worst Toys

Page 1

skydancers are still on the market. i have friends whose children have them. MY kids HAD them. not any more. not only will they take out an eye, but also any lamps, vases, and other nearby and expensive items.

Posted by: stephanie on December 13, 2006 10:28 AM

Hey what about Clackers? What's better than two glass balls on a string that smash into each other?

Posted by: Jupiter8 on December 13, 2006 1:40 PM

Yeah, my sister bought my daughter a Skydancer. I gave it to my mother in law to show my daughter and left to run some errands. When I returned she told me how it almost took her head off! I had never seen the thing before and didn't really know what it could do.

Posted by: kyothecat on December 13, 2006 2:42 PM

what about sockem' boppers? "more fun than a pillow fight?" ya right...i knocked my brother out with those things. oh and all my freinds. not just because i hit too hard but because if they fell they always hit there head on a table or somthing.

Posted by: ferrsy on December 13, 2006 4:19 PM

What about everybody's favorite summer toy - the Dive Stick. It was a plastic stick that sank to the bottom of the pool. It would stand up becasue the bottom of the stick was weighted.

You then raced your friends to the to collect as many as possible...problem was some kids raced ass first and well...found their own bottoms had a little added weight.

In 1999 (i think) Wal-Mart recalled more than 9 million of the buggers.

Posted by: maec55 on December 13, 2006 6:23 PM

Sock 'em boppers: definitely worth noting. They were indeed 'more fun then a pillow fight,' until a right hook to baloon pop and unconcious victim put an end to the fun--an all to common occurance for this little brother.

These heavy inflatable fist-concealers would serve the three brothers in my family well for a time, until--inevitable 3 years in a row (do parents learn?)--a good solid knock to the temple would be not so soft and cushioned any more. There's nothing like watching the youngest of 3 go flying off his feet and onto the couch unconcious (literally). Merry Christmas indeed.

Posted by: apucodell on December 14, 2006 3:59 AM

anyone remember "superlastic bubble plastic"? you had what looked like a tube of toothpaste and a large straw. together, you could blow permanent colorful bubbles. but don't inhale once you've started blowing a bubble because the fumes were toxic and could cause lung damange.

good times.

Posted by: konakahuna on December 14, 2006 8:26 AM

I might also cite a popular toy from the 1960s that generated a significant number of minor injuries -- the Superball. This ever-bouncing demon was as hard as a golf ball and could zing at your face from completely unexpected directions. What fun it was to slam one into the wall of the classroom and watch all the students ducking and dodging frantically, trying to avoid being superballed in the eye!

Posted by: catullus13 on December 14, 2006 9:19 AM

many boy style bicycles in the 60s-70s had a 6 inch or so stick shift on the top most bar of the frame. many kids got impailed on those bikes like the schwinn orange krate.

Posted by: starlost on December 14, 2006 10:19 AM

Just a comment on a comment - "superlastic bubble plastic" is still on the market and available in many grocery stores. The package I recently acquired (for nostalgia's sake, really!) has a number of "eye" pieces that can be stuck on the colorful ballons.

It's labeled "Colorful Plastic B-Loon" and only has 'CAUTION: Flammable mixture. Do not use near fire or flame.'
and
'WARNING: Choking Hazard-Small parts. Not for children under 3 years'

Oh, and the somewhat obligatory end-note:
'Made in China'

Posted by: Skywise on December 14, 2006 10:23 AM

Nice - I have a little divot in my forehead from a lawn dart, compliments of my sisters.

Posted by: chzplz on December 14, 2006 10:59 AM

I had Creepy Crawlers when I was a kid (and my Mom still has it in the attic) and it was my all time favorite toy. I never burnt myself, but then again I'm not a spaz.

Posted by: tjcronan on December 14, 2006 11:58 AM

I'd like to add the "Water Wiggle" to the list. It was plastic head with a water jet nozzle that you would attach to your garden hose. The force of the water would cause the head to "fly" in a jerky manner all around the yard.

Posted by: stevew on December 14, 2006 12:02 PM

No child EVER got impaled on the stik shifter from a Schwinn Stingray. I'm sure many boys hit the thing with their nether regions (me included), but NONE EVER GOT IMPALED.

Posted by: kratev13 on December 14, 2006 12:18 PM

I'd like to mention a toy that my employer currently carries: Power Pogo. It advertises a reported 4 feet of solid air beneath you! That's right, kids! Why climb all the way to the roof to jump off when our pogo stick will get you just as high into the air?
"Not recommended for children under the age of 8 years."
That's reassuring. Notice they don't say not to use it indoors. Guess what'll be on next year's recall list.

Posted by: Indomitus on December 14, 2006 12:22 PM

How about the Crawl-a-gator? I had one of these before i could walk. it was a large flat piece of plastic, shaped and colored to look like a cartoon aligator that had castors on the bottom. I guess it was supposed to help kids who couldn't walk yet learn the concept of movement and show them how to crawl in that position. Problem was, kid's fingers kept getting crushed under the castors and weight of their own body. Hell, i didn't learn to walk until i was 7 years old. :D

Posted by: strich on December 14, 2006 2:38 PM

superballs - yes! my dog swallowed one unbeknownst to my brothers and me while we zinged probably 10 balls around the house. a few years later after several bouts with not being able to eat, our dog couldn’t even swallow water and we had to take her to the vet. "There's something spherical blocking her stomach" was the news. Sure enough, they operated and removed the superball, with acid marks around the surface but it was still smooth and bounced like new. Our dog was like a pup again, full of energy. I say we remove from our existence all small round things that bounce.

Posted by: jojojicama on December 14, 2006 5:28 PM

Remember the easy bake oven? how about the "Thingmaker" for us old guys! and oh yes, the "Water Weeny"... Surgical tubing with what resembles an ink pen tip inserted and filled with water. Oh what great fun puting your friends, neighbors and siblings eys out!

Posted by: davidstroud on December 14, 2006 6:07 PM

Posted by: davidstroud on December 14, 2006 6:34 PM

apucodell's Dad decides to reply.....

It wasn't really three years in a row for the sock em boppers. I think it was more like every other year.

Heck, maybe I should get them agin this year now that the youngest brother is the biggest! He can now get revenge.

Dad

Posted by: tmodell on December 14, 2006 8:27 PM

apucodell's Dad decides to reply.....

It wasn't really three years in a row for the sock em boppers. I think it was more like every other year.

Heck, maybe I should get them agin this year now that the youngest brother is the biggest! He can now get revenge.

Dad

Posted by: tmodell on December 14, 2006 8:28 PM

apucodell's Dad decides to reply.....

It wasn't really three years in a row for the sock em boppers. I think it was more like every other year.

Heck, maybe I should get them agin this year now that the youngest brother is the biggest! He can now get revenge.

Dad

Posted by: tmodell on December 14, 2006 8:43 PM

Man, I had *all* these toys! (Well, OK, not the radioactive chemistry set. Wonder if I can find one on eBay?)

OK, Mr and Mrs Healthy; how many of you are actually missing digits or eyes from these specific toys? How many people do you *personally* know who are? As I recall, we actually knew this stuff was dangerous, and amazingly enough, our parents both recognized the dangers, and they "got it" that we knew, too. If we behaved dangerously, we were "educated" not to. Gosh, I was even allowed a firearm as a kid. What were we thinking?

My brother nearly chopped my ear off with a stick, yet we still find sticks fully available to children of all ages. Ditto bathtubs, slippery food and dare I say it... stairs--all of which have killed and maimed not dozens but thousands of children. Where should it stop?

I loved my Johnnie Reb cannon (no, not from the South). So did all my friends; dude, bean your little brother from 35' away? How could you resist?

Davey

Posted by: davey on December 15, 2006 1:22 AM

CHRIST ALMIGHTY, these kids don't even know how to lie in a hammock? Rassem frassem.

Posted by: Wintermute on December 15, 2006 3:21 AM

Oh i had so many of these toys! Lawn darts were wonderful! i even got one through the foot courtesy my siblings. but then i was the youngest and the one set up as a target. I also have the Cylon Raider toy and yet those missles (which i still own) can lodge just about anywhere. in the ear and in the throat. luckily we had a Hiemlich chart in the house that my mom put up and unbeknowst to her it got used a bit. Did i mention i was the target of a lot of crap from my siblings?

Posted by: Theadeaus on December 15, 2006 6:06 AM

Another childhood treasure chest of death was the home chemistry kit. My kit had a bunch of toxic chemicals along with an alchohol burner. The kit came with a booklet that offered "fun, safe" experiments to do, but how much more exciting to mix up a bunch of chemicals at random and heat them in a test tube over the burner until something happened! Usually, you ended up with congealed glop, but once in a while the test tube would send out clouds of gagging fumes or even explode in a hail of glass splinters!

Posted by: catullus13 on December 15, 2006 7:48 AM

Ladies, at least mostly...remember "Fresh 'n Fancy"? The make-your-own makeup kits? Not only did it make 8 year olds look like whores, but it would leave one hell of a rash!
BTW, "Jarts" fricking ruled!

Posted by: lk on December 15, 2006 9:12 AM

Awesome artilce, but you neglected to mention the "Creepy Crawler's" CONSUMABLE version "Incredible Edibles". It came with "Gobbledy Goop" and tasted awful. I actually ate that crap and I'm sure that I shaved several years off my life with that one. At least my folks didn't get me that Jonnie Science™ Home Cyclatron . . .

Posted by: Artoo45 on December 15, 2006 2:01 PM

I'm glad someone mentioned Incredible Edibles. God, were those things AWFUL! My friend and I ate one batch, couldn't hack them, and then tried feeding them to the dog. Apparently, he was smarter than we were, because he ran the other way. Also, I wanted to mention Jarts were available LONG before the '80s. We played with them as kids in the early/mid 1970s. Definitely before 1974. LOVED those things, even though one nearly pierced my foot one time. Ah, the happy days of childhood.

Posted by: semisweetchick on December 15, 2006 4:25 PM

Had this toy.

Posted by: Tom3 on December 15, 2006 4:53 PM

I remember how much fun lawn darts were. My cousin hit me in the head with one. Don't remember what happened after that. Have a lot of trouble remembering things since. But I remember the lawn darts were fun.

Posted by: Bill on December 15, 2006 7:23 PM

my brothers and i played with those and we all survived.

Posted by: momonstrike on December 16, 2006 12:19 AM

I feel that we are leaving out an awesome toy that caused me so many summer injuries...the slip and slide. If there was a rock or stick under the slide, you were scraped from head to toe, cause once you got going you were commited to the end.

Posted by: crynkle on December 16, 2006 12:48 AM

Posted by: Bill on December 16, 2006 9:21 AM

How many people have been injured by horseshoes? How many injuries from playing frisbee? I hear bikes are pretty dangerous - should parents who never taught their kids not to ride on the train tracks be allowed to collect tens of millions from Union Pacific?

Anybody want to compare the number of deaths and injuries from jarts with the D&I rate for bikes? For tree climbing? The ultimate demise of Jarts wasn't because the product was inherently dangerous - pretty much everything is - but because lazy, selfish parents steadfastly refuse to supervise and instruct their kids. "Mom! Billy wacked the croquette ball really hard and it hit me in the knee!" "I'm calling my lawyer! They should never be allowed to sell such a dangerous product!" Or "hmm... this toy comes with live rattlesnakes and a chainsaw. Well, since National Toy And Fun Emporium, Inc has 50 billion in annual sales if anything happens I'll get rich, so I think I'll buy this for my 18 month old. That'll keep him quiet while I watch my soap opera."

Posted by: sultano on December 16, 2006 9:51 AM

When me an the brother were wee lads we used to pick foxtails, stick them in the end of a drinking straw and inhale. The foxtail would stay at the end for a second or two and then scream down that straw like a rocket! We would laugh hysterically at the gagging sound we made as it struck the back of our throats. I haven't seen foxtails in a long time. I wonder if they have been recalled?

Posted by: crazybeardedman on December 16, 2006 11:22 AM

How about the game Quicksilver, the little plastic maze with the silver blob you could move around (and sometimes split into several blobs)--I recall it was hexagonal, around the late 80s or early 90s. They didn't really mention that the 'quicksilver' really was...well, quicksilver, or actual mercury, and that it was easy to break the maze accidentally. Look, a new toy to play with! That one got profiled in a kids magazine I read when I was little.

Posted by: coleoptera on December 16, 2006 4:37 PM

Looks like this story has been "dugg":
http://digg.com/offbeat_news/Top_10_most_dangerous_toys_of_all_times

Posted by: robertbutler on December 16, 2006 6:13 PM

I second the clackers comment. God, they were awful. Absolutely guaranteed to remove teeth, and to scatter high velocity shrapnel after shattering. Should be #2 after Lawn Dart.

On the other hand, skis, horses and bicycles have led to far more injuries and deaths than these toys -- the main difference being that those risks ought to be clear.

BTW, making playgrounds safer did dramatically lower ED visits for significant head injuries and reduced lifelong disability rates. Sometimes blood-sucking lawyers are our friends.

Posted by: jfaughnan on December 17, 2006 12:14 AM

Where can I buy the office version of Lawn darts?

Posted by: ggoula on December 17, 2006 9:54 AM

Check out http://www.JartParts.com and http://www.JartsGame.com

Posted by: Ilovejarts on December 17, 2006 3:55 PM

Craziness taking jarts off the market. Why not go for croquet sets as well - don't know how many times I've seen my aunt club her foot with the mallet. Those were special times.

Posted by: paulewannacracker on December 17, 2006 4:22 PM

I had Creepy Crawlers, and burned the crap out of my hands. I also got an electric guitar from Gibson's Disount store, and it nearly electricuted me when I tried to play it barefoot and sweaty in my garage in Beaumont, TX in 1966. We didn't need dangerous toys though. I remember going around after Christmas, and gathering up all the neighbors trees and piling them up, then swinging from my friends treehouse and landing in them!

Posted by: chewy0901 on December 17, 2006 10:47 PM

Who remembers the Star Trek phasers that shot those little plastic disks at extremely high velocities? I must have gotten a whoopin a dozen times for leaving welts on my little brother with this thing. Man that was one mean toy.

How about those water rockets that you put a small quantity of water in, attached it to a hand-held pump and put as much air in the thing as you could before releasing it? Poorly aimed rockets definitely put out a few windows in my neighborhood, that is for sure!!!!

Posted by: redlantern on December 18, 2006 9:29 AM

Who needs a lawn dart to inflict damage on your siblings??? A nice pair of sharp scissors does the trick as well-- ask me how I know.

Posted by: momtat on December 18, 2006 10:18 AM

You neglected to mention that the biggest fans of Lawn Darts/Jarts were, in fact, not children, but "adults." The very best way to play Lawn Darts was after spending the afternoon with friends, and Tangueray and tonics. It was an even greater challenge to play in the dark. And, why didn't caps make the list???? My daughter and my nephew, when they were about 8 years old (30 years ago), took an entire roll out on the sidewalk, got a huge rock and let it rip. The dog pooped on the floor and the neighbors came running. Nothing like a little gunpowder to keep the kids occupied.

Posted by: NLBAFH on December 18, 2006 1:00 PM

C'mon! A little common sense and the kids would have been instructed to stand at lease 10 ft back from a tape line, row of rocks or whatever. We had, and still have, a blast with those things. The plasic is becoming a little brittle though.

Posted by: jeff62 on December 19, 2006 2:38 AM

North American "Fear Culture" knows no bounds. If parents would, oh I don't know, SUPERVISE their children from time to time toys like lawn darts could still be enjoyed. I'd much rather watch my kids play lawn darts than see them get fat and myopic from playing X-Box 10 hours a day.

Posted by: kapnkrunch on December 19, 2006 8:07 AM

Suckerman. ouch! My brother had a red one. It was THICK rubbery material with suction cups all over it. The idea was that you could throw it onto glass or any slick surface and it would stick. It did, sometimes. His favorite thing was to chase me around and WHACK me as hard as he could with that thing, and man it hurt! He hit my dad once and the thing ended up in the trash. My brother then told grandma that Suckerman was the ONLY thing he wanted that Christmas - and he got another one!

Posted by: LeAnnaLP on December 20, 2006 12:39 AM

Hot Wheels Melt Your Own cars. It was similar to the Creepy Crawler thing. You got cubes of wax and molds to melt the wax in a little bucket and then pour into the mold and voila! You have a freshly made Hot Wheels. The melting bucket was encased in plastic, but I have to say, my brother was very crafty at getting the wax into the mold and then dumping the hot wax (or throwing it) on to me. It wasn't TOO hot by that point, but still left red marks.

Posted by: LeAnnaLP on December 20, 2006 12:42 AM

Lawn darts went by another name 2000 years ago: the Roman army called them 'plumbata' and they were handheld infantry weapons.

Posted by: richsc on December 20, 2006 4:18 PM

Aw, come on! Anybody can be hurt with anything, anytime. It's a matter of natural selection and some of these toys just helped that along faster. There's a reason why some people get hurt while thousands or millions more don't with the same item. Think of items like these as well designed tests to weed out people who probably shouldn't reproduce to begin with.

We had lawn darts when I was a kid and we took a lot of risks but we never threw them near anyone. I also had a biology set with a real scalpel, a chemistry set with real chemicals, and the Thingmaster.

I'm sorry about the kids who got hurt or worse. It'd be cool to still have the lawn darts. Maybe they could treat them like guns and require a certain age along with a background check. "Are you on record as having done any really stupid and dangerous things?" Of course, there's always eBay.

Posted by: jerryk on December 20, 2006 6:06 PM

More mindless banter re toys. Kids who grew up in the 1970's were healthier and had better sense than todays tweens and teens, and we weren't OVERWEIGHT! Lawn Darts were great fun as long as used with care, like ANYTHING else. You worry warts are the bane of common sense.

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 5:55 PM

Air blasters were scary- these big air guns with a
rubber wall that wet back with the suction trigger
and when released shot a powerful blast of air-
good for blowing out ear drums, though this never happened..

Posted by: valerie on December 26, 2006 2:36 AM

Jarts; the subject of one of our most repeated family stories. One boring summer afternoon when I was about seven years old I was attempting to amuse myself by throwing the lawn darts as high as I could. The back of my unsuspecting grandmother's head was the receipient of one of my more successful tosses. The sheer horror of seeing the shiny blue jart and her now shiny red (previously white) hair was to much for me so I took off running down the road. Since we were home alone and this was a fairly high speed, high traffic road (by yesterday's standards, anyway), she had to remove the jart herself and then chase my stupid seven year old butt down and drag me home. She was a strong woman and lived another 37 years after my famous stunt but she never did let me use the lawn darts again.

Posted by: dartman on December 26, 2006 2:18 PM

I remember doing the Creepy Crawler thing. I really don't believe the burns were nearly as bad as "the critters were toxic, too." What would really happen is you would get woosie from the fumes and face plant into the hot plate.

Posted by: ruthej on December 27, 2006 11:23 AM

I had lawn darts, toys that launched projectiles at deadly speeds, superballs, chemical labs and many other so-called "dangerous" toys as a child, as did my siblings, yet I never hurt or injured myself as seriously as I did on my bicycle or skateboard.
I say if you can't stand the heat, get away for the searing hot plate!

Posted by: toonuts on December 27, 2006 1:05 PM

OMG, your commentary had me laughing out loud! I'd have to categorize this as brilliant! Thanks for the laughs. :)

Lisa
http://www.bunk-beds-loft-beds.com

Posted by: libu1968 on December 29, 2006 12:21 PM

I wonder why skateboards aren't on this list. Way back in 1992, over 56,000 kids went to ERs with skateboard injuries, and 1,900 of them had to be hospitalized.

Posted by: ZenCueist on January 2, 2007 11:52 AM

The Skydancers whose heads flew off and flew fast enough to cause harm were pulled off the market. My daughter was one of the girls in the "Pretty Scents Skydancers" commercials that ran. By the time the Pretty Scents came out the word was already out about the previous, dangerous, models of these toys. It was too late for the toys. Moms didn't want to buy them after the problems with them. The company gave my daughter and her younger sister lots of the toys to take home. They are still in their original boxes along with a video of the commercials. Who knows, maybe these things will be interesting "antiques" someday.

Posted by: Lin on January 3, 2007 2:39 AM

Ok we had lawn darts as kids.. first my Parents saw to it that we all new how to use them and SUPERVISED us as we played.. My feeling is if the parent would get outside and off the couch and teach their children and watch there kids play ALOT of these accidents wouldnt happen.... everything in life can be dangerous if not cautious!!!!!!

Posted by: joshs-mommy on January 4, 2007 1:32 PM

To the guy who said he didn't get burned by his Creepy Crawlers because he's not a spaz: You are not only a spaz, but you're completely compulsive. How can you NOT get burned by that thing? It was like handling molten lava!
Also, when my daughter was little, she broke her collar bone on a slip-n-slide. Good times.

Posted by: foofaniam on January 5, 2007 12:19 PM

ZenCueist Re: Skateboard injuries "way back in 1992".

In the 60's, my cousin took one of my metal skates apart, nailed the front and back halves to a piece of wood, and I had a skate board. I painted flowers on it and fairly flew along the sidewalks and down the neighbor's steep driveway (and mostly avoided the ends of nails sticking up through the board).

I would tie a jumprope to my cousin's bike and "ski" at high speeds behind him. Of course, the family photo we had taken that year featured me with a split and puffy lip and two knees skinned to the cartilage. Guess, when I fell, I should have let go of the rope.

Good times.

Posted by: llippitz on January 6, 2007 1:14 AM

OK, I am sure the actual #1 "toy" which basically guarantees an injury is the old Wood Burning kit! The box showed really cool Indian head and horse images that can be produced with the kit contents (the “iron”, some tips, and a block of pine) all I ever produced were my initials in just about anything in the proximity of an electrical outlet.

The “Wood” burner is an electric iron that draws enough current to show up on the power grid as a small village. Needless to say that flesh is instantaneously converted to the fourth state of matter (plasma) when it comes in contact with the iron.

My guess is that any artist involved in this medium has a nickname like “Lefty” or “Three Fingers”.

Posted by: panamajoe on January 8, 2007 2:39 PM

Here's another one: I don't remember what the name was, so I'm going to call it "Hey Kids! Let's Melt Some Plastic & Inhale the Fumes!" It was like an e-z bake oven, but for stained-glass-like suncatchers. You would put the metal framey thing on a small round metal tray, then pour colored plastic crystals into the different sections. Pop it in the oven, which had a convenient window on top, and voila! Instant art! Of course, the fumes of melting plastic might have caused a migraine or too, and the cheap plastic window may have led to some minor burns, but hey! It's all in the spirit of fun!

Posted by: coolhandjennie on February 8, 2007 11:47 PM

wusses! toys i got to play with as a kid included: bows, shotguns, backhoes, motorboats, farm tractors, mad bulls, irate mother sows, dynamite, and chain saws. my father REQUIRED his children to carry a pocketknife and a lighter(well, yes, there was a compass in that list too). my siblings and i were allowed to play with these things because my dad TAUGHT us the dangers involved...and then trusted us to be responsible. funny, since we were treated as responsible creatures, we acted that way. go figure.

Posted by: dUmmGuY on February 11, 2007 6:27 AM

Shakespeare had the right idea: kill all the lawyers. Today's underage boys have the prospect of a military draft. There they can break things and injure (and kill) people for Wall Street.

Posted by: golem_of_sprague on April 10, 2007 11:20 PM

JARTS are FUN!!!

I can`t believe they banned this game!

I still have my old set from 15 years ago. We use them at every family picni and have only had 1 accident. My brother sharpened them on a grinding wheel and a ladies foot was impaled because she was not paying attention to the match.

Otherwise we have used the safely hundreds of times.

Bring back JARTS!!

Posted by: JoeDon on July 26, 2007 7:00 AM

My dad bought a set of these on an auction site (ebay wont sell them) and we play them a lot, my friends come over and we play. it's awsome, if your at least a little careful it's really hard to get hurt.

Posted by: rugbylg6 on September 3, 2007 4:10 PM

My cousin got a Johnny Reb Cannon for Christmas one year. We spent an hilarious afternoon shooting the ornaments off the "kids" Christmas tree in the basement.

Posted by: Walt Buchanan on November 29, 2007 3:59 PM

I thought the licking the balls thing came after ingesting the GHB.

Posted by: Confused on February 6, 2008 4:48 PM

i think a dangnerous toy is, yes you guessed it right, the Wii. You may think it crazy, But in the paper, it said a lot of people die from Wii boxing because they can't beat a level,they get angry and kill thereself,(I'm happy I don't have one so I don't have one).

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Posted by: Rapidshare on April 5, 2008 1:49 PM

best

Posted by: Rapidshare on April 5, 2008 1:50 PM

You forgot the kitchen playset the plastic spoons and forks can be swallod and could block off breathing x x
-

Posted by: gertrude on June 1, 2008 4:14 PM

pandadude ur rong why wud u kil ur self if u cud not get it inleas u hav a disease or anger problims

Posted by: gertrude on June 1, 2008 4:18 PM

(an aside: Gertrude, PLEASE speak English. You are only demonstrating your low level of communications "skills" when you post in sophomoric "text-talk".)

Now, the toys. As a kid, I had a bow and arrow - and the arrows had sharp metal tips. Yes, more than once they ended up in an unintended location, but never in a person or animal. I also had a CO2 powered 22 caliber pellet gun which was capable of killing small animals with a single shot. (I know this, because my neighbor unintentionally trapped a skunk and I had to dispose of it.) This, too, fired hundreds of lead pellets without accident. Then there was the 22 caliber rifle that I got for Christmas at age 10 and was allowed to use in our wooded range without supervision. Strangely, again no accidents.

For the ultimate in "would you let your kids do this?" (and I would, because I've trained them, as I was trained.) Remember lead soldiers? Remember lead type for newspapers? (No? Then I'm older than you.) We used to go to the local paper and haul home as much old type as we could carry - usually we'd score about 50 pounds of it. Then it was off to one of the kid's house to use the old saucepan reserved for that purpose on the open-flame gas stove; melt a few pounds of lead and pour it into the soldier molds. You're just not going to believe this, but 4 or 5 boys between 11 and 14 could make hundreds of soldiers from molten lead (several hundred degrees!) and not suffer a single burn among them. (We also knew enough to ventilate the kitchen and not sniff the molten lead.) How did we do it?!? We used FREAKIN' COMMON SENSE!

Posted by: greybeard on June 2, 2008 8:15 PM

We had jarts, darts, hammocks, pools, caps, bb guns galore, no seat belts, wood burners. mercury in everything, "removable parts" , common sense, NO LAW SUITS, no t.v's in our rooms, we had parents who parented-not coddled, we walked to school, rode our bikes, and stayed outside as long as we could, summer or winter. We ate every meal together and ate what was put in front of us. We didn't "graduate" from every level of learning. We were expected to pass and move on to the next level. Graduation from day care unheard of. Day care for that matter was unheard of, families raised their own. For the love of God, we were told to find something to do. What a great life we had.

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Page 2

Dangerous toys are awesome. They enhance natural selection by culling the low-hanging fruit that would otherwise go unplucked by our "safety police" society. That's right... More dangerous toys please!

Posted by: howajo on December 2, 2007 10:44 PM

Holy crap, that's some funny stuff! Very well written article!

Posted by: jrizos on February 13, 2008 10:30 PM

Page 4

Indeed! What is the long term effects of being raised by the kind of nerds who would give their kid an Atomic Energy Lab?

Dan Yocum
yocum@fnal.gov
Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory
Batavia, IL 60510

Posted by: yocum on December 15, 2006 4:39 PM

Long term effects? None whatsoever. Uranium 238 is only dangerous if in finely powdered form and inhaled. You can safely swallow a pellet of U238; it just passes through.

Posted by: simey on December 15, 2006 8:07 PM

Man, I wish I'd got this kit when I was 11 or so.

I only got to play with a cloud chamber recently as part of my physics class, and I have to say it was one of those *woah* moments. It's one thing to read about all the theory etc, but to actually see the trails of alpha particles, muons etc...

Oh I'm sorry. Radiation!!11 doubleplusungood crimethink.

Posted by: hex4def6 on December 16, 2006 3:12 AM

If you look at the 2 pictures you'll see they are not for the same thing. The lower open box picture is indeed for the Gilbert set. This was a really great scientific kit and nowhere near as dangerous as is claimed, even though one of those radioactive sources was a Gamma source! The upper box is actually a Kit from American Basic Science Club, not the Gilber Kit at all. ABSC sold a set of 9 kits that could come as monthly mailings or all at once that covered electronics, optics, photography, atomic energy and more, and sold for less than $50 total. They acomplished a lot of this by clever reuse of the parts in the kits. They also sold many of the things covered in the 9 kits as individual labs, the box shown here is such a lab.

And yes. I had both of them. I bought the ABSC kits with my newspaper route money. The Gilbert Kit was handed down in used condition from a cousin. No children were harmed in the learning of science, and I suspect I may never have been involved in sciene if the current mentality reflected in the lame kits available for children now and demonstrated in including these items in this list was in effect at the time.

Posted by: Frovingslosh on December 16, 2006 10:00 AM

At first I thought that Ms. Ferrari's selection of toys and her comments, as over-the-top as they are, were intended as pure comedy, with it taken for granted that her readers are well aware of that, and just enjoying the silliness. I had never been to this site before, and after reading the lawn darts and atomic energy lab pieces, I assumed it must be something like the Onion! But she suddenly sounds very serious in the last paragraph above. Now I think she is just a very ignorant and gullible writer doing her lame best.

Posted by: skywire on December 16, 2006 10:56 AM

Yes, indeed, this example demonstrates the ignorance of the author, which has now been discussed in embarassing detail at Slashdot. The amount of radiation in this kit is less than the radiation from the natural potassium in your body, so if you're worried about this kit you better stay away from banannas. [Ribald comment omitted.] The only thing worse than the author's ignorance is the author's ignorance compounded by her smug self-assurance in writing about it.

Posted by: fzvtqmmtsg on December 16, 2006 7:27 PM

I had one of the American Basic Science Club kits when I was a kid. It was really, really fun. I set up the cloud chamber every time I could persuade my Dad to get some dry ice for it. I wish I could still get one of these for my own son. It's articles like this that prevent that from happening.

Posted by: Mockup on December 18, 2006 11:38 AM

I wasa born in 1962...bummer!!

Where was this when I was a kid?? All I got to play with in the 70's were some reactive metal salts, weak acids and some basic (>pH 7.0) chemicals...nothing like a bubble chamber!

Jeff

Posted by: jeff62 on December 19, 2006 2:29 AM

Uranium was never linked to Gulf War Illness and the over 3,000 bioassay tests from Iraqi Freedom have all come back negative.

You can make your own cloud chamber using a foreign made gas lantern mantle since they are coated with radioactive thorium in larger amounts than in the science kit.

Posted by: superdestroyer on December 20, 2006 11:39 AM

Oh, for crying out loud. Damn English majors.

Look, it's uranium-bearing ore. It's a rock. One you could pick up off the ground all over the southwest. Bunch of it at the headwaters of the Arkansas River, near Leadville, CO. (In fact, it's associated with lead ores in general.) It's got 238U in it because that's 99+ percent of all uranium.

Cripes, your granite countertops have uranium in them, granite often has U in the range of thousands of parts per million.

As to the effects of being raised by "the kind of nerds who would give their kid an Atomic Energy Lab" --- well, I got one, and I've got a bunch of scholarly publications, a couple patents, a comfortable six-figure salary, and I know what "uranium bearing ore" means.

Posted by: CharlieInCO on December 20, 2006 12:29 PM

AWESOME! Where do I get one SERIOUSLY!

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 6:10 PM

> AWESOME! Where do I get one SERIOUSLY!

You can buy some of the parts, you can make some of them much more cheaply.

Uranium ore
http://www.unitednuclear.com/uranium.htm
(Yes, the polonium people. The low level stuff would work fine. So would a glow in the dark watch.)

Spinthariscope
http://www.unitednuclear.com/spinthariscope.htm
(Same people, and apparently the only manufacurer of spinthariscopes in the world.)

Electroscope
http://www.exploratorium.edu/snacks/electroscope.html

Wilson Cloud Chamber
http://www.madphysics.com/exp/building_wilsons_cloud_chamber.htm

Geiger counter
http://www.imagesco.com/articles/geiger/01.html
(A high level do it yourself article)
http://www.blackcatsystems.com/GM/geiger_counter.html
http://www.mineralab.com/Geiger%20Counters.htm
http://www.gammascout.com/
(Three sources, models from $150 to $1,000)

Remember, that was $49.50 in 1951 dollars. That's $372 in 2005 Consumer Price Index dollars. It'd be like six hundred some in dog dollars.

What's the effect of being raised by the kind of nerd who owned these things and even built some of them? This neuroscientist nerd has one nerd offspring PhD candidate in neuroscience, one PhD candidate in nanotech engineering, and one about to get her master's in neuroscience (but she's only 21 -- she'll catch up.

Posted by: dynasoar on December 27, 2006 10:45 AM

Oh, man, I remember how much I wanted one of these! But, at age 13, I couldn't come up with enough money and my father wouldn't help out. I did, however, enjoy experimenting with my Gilbert Chemistry Set until my sister and her friend ate most of it.

Posted by: bigjohn756 on January 2, 2007 12:36 PM

I had one of those as a kid, and it was a lot later than 1951, I'm guessing around 1969. It was part of a subscription in which you would receive a new experiment each month or so. Later experiments would be dependent upon the parts of previous experiments. It was a hell of a lotta fun, and very educational. The amount of radioactive material of tiny, it was literally on the head of a pin.

Posted by: stox on June 3, 2007 11:24 PM

I have no children. It's the only way to keep them from getting hurt. Anyone who does not do likewise is irresponsible.

Posted by: vynnie on June 4, 2007 12:32 AM

wow, I had one of these! brings back lots of wonderful memories of plotting world domination in my basement laboratory. unfortunately, my parents stopped my master plans by ending my subscription to the mail-order series of science experiments this was part of. the next shipment was going to be the death ray gun, so I was very disappointed.

Posted by: Iloz Zoc on November 30, 2007 10:17 AM

Paige is absolutely correct. If you took that piece of uranium ore, placed it in a slingshot and fired it at someone's eye from one foot away...well, you could cause great harm. Thanks for the heads up!

Posted by: ElySilk on December 9, 2007 11:48 PM

Page 5

Had this toy.

Posted by: Tom3 on December 15, 2006 4:55 PM

This is the shape of the traditional Mexican hammock, of which we have several. Another danger is that of using it as an impromptu swing: place friend inside, wrap hammock round them like a chrysalis, then swing round 'till they nearly fall out at the top of the arc. Swap over, and repeat.

Posted by: fotherington on December 16, 2006 12:59 PM

These hammocks were also sold as adult hammocks meant to hold up to 4 people. The trick was to lie in them sideways. It was the most comfortable hammock I ever used. Unfortunately, the strings started breaking, and eventually you had to discard it.

Posted by: 1790house on January 2, 2007 2:59 PM

My sister was 7 when she popped a Gobstopper in her mouth and lay in a hammock. She fell out, hitting the side of her face on the ground. The Gobstopper was in that cheek, and it tore up the inside of her mouth. Another sister put a folding chair on a swing and climbed on. The chair folded up and cut off the tip of her finger. My brother was a year old when he put a suction cup toy over one eye. Instead of lifting the edge to remove it, our babysitter pulled it straight off, giving him a perfectly round black eye. Kids can make anything dangerous. What doesn't end tragically becomes a loved family story. I've always said, "There is a thin line between America's Funniest Home Videos and Rescue 911".

Posted by: janeway on January 6, 2007 2:25 AM

Page 6

Had this toy. Gave it to my daughter for Xmas.

Posted by: Tom3 on December 15, 2006 4:55 PM

"chomped your child's finger off"??? that looks to be an unsupported gross exaggeration. " rabid jaws"??? Give me a break. This is one of the most dangerous toys of all time? Superballs are more dangerous than this...or even baseballs, for that matter.

Posted by: stacie on December 17, 2006 11:15 AM

I knew Chuckie wasn't just a movie.

Posted by: paulewannacracker on December 17, 2006 4:25 PM

Another perfectly good toy bites the, ummm, dust.

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 6:13 PM

Far out! Your very own Night of the Living Dead doll! Cool!

Posted by: marc_xenos on August 16, 2008 1:11 PM

Page 7

I saw these two days ago at the Family Dollar store near my home in St. Louis; I almost bought one for my niece!

Posted by: eliz137 on December 14, 2006 12:50 PM

My Mom bought my Daughter 2 of these for Christmas when they first came out.
I took them away the first time I got nail in the face.

Posted by: Roachmill on December 14, 2006 1:31 PM

i had gotten these for my daughters when they first came out. i taught them to point them upward only and upward being the key word and they did fine. lets just all but our kids in bubbles and not let them play with anything. good lord i played with alomost all these toys and my brothers and i survived.~~momonstrike~~

Posted by: momonstrike on December 16, 2006 12:14 AM

You write well and don't really need to resort to negative stereotypes like "ballet-students-with-eating-disorders" to get an easy laugh.

Posted by: dwjensen on December 16, 2006 1:40 PM

I had these when they first came out. I wasn't one of the retard children of the new millenium who are always getting wounded by their toys creating massive amounts of lawsuits. Sure, sometimes these things would hit your finger but they never took my eye out or "chased" me. What the hell is wrong with kids today?

Posted by: ixplodestuf on December 16, 2006 5:25 PM

I had this toy when I was a lil girl. I loved it! Sure if I intentionally stuck my hand in the way before the thing took off it might hurt a bit, but nothing serious Ever happened. Nothing serious happening ever even occurred to me at that age.

Posted by: TheRedSock on December 17, 2006 10:37 PM

I got this for my 4 year old daughter in 95. What a blast!! I think I had more fun with it than she did. neither she nor I were ever injured or hurt in any way.

Jeff

Posted by: jeff62 on December 19, 2006 2:25 AM

I also got this for my daughter back then. I can attest to the panic that sometimes occurred when these little suckers took off, but no one was ever hurt.
The reason for the panic? The sky dancer really did take off. It was frickin' awesome. Kids today aren't used to having a toy that is supposed to fly actually fly!

Posted by: mk on December 20, 2006 10:48 AM

to xplodestuf,

Want to know what is wrong with the kids today, the parents. If kids weren't babied so much then things would still be fine. Kick them out the door and away from video games, let them climb trees, play with "dangerous" toys, etc. And when they get hurt, patch them up and send them back out. And when they get in trouble for God's sake, spank them. Not this, "Now Timmy, you shouldn't do that. It is wrong." bs.

But if you do that, the kid will grow up traumatized and need to go to a psychaitrists the rest of his life. Stupid people.

Posted by: Tex on December 23, 2006 9:21 AM

What? This is ridiculous. I played with a lot of these toys and never had any problems. Espescially with a SKY DANCER. They are foamy. We used to make them go at eachother and yet nothing happened. No scars, no missing teeth. Teach your children the safe way to use things. Come on, y'all. What's to say a jump rope isnt seriously dangerous? They might trip over it and break their faces. Please...

Posted by: Mary Jane on July 7, 2007 6:21 PM

I had these when I was a kid (I am 20 now) and I loved them. I actually never got hurt.... My brother even had some boy-ish version of them. Stupid kids...

Posted by: etteloc on November 28, 2007 11:51 AM

My little sister had one of these. I used to get hit by it all the time and never got hurt. I'm really wondering how kids got hurt because I remember this thing having soft wings and not being that pointy. I could see toddlers being hurt, but not kids of the right age to play with it.

Posted by: elpea on November 28, 2007 1:25 PM

lol i still have mine [up in the attic]

theve been made illegal now [uk] xD

Posted by: krosavcheg on April 11, 2008 11:41 AM

Page 8

Had this toy.

Posted by: Tom3 on December 15, 2006 4:57 PM

Boy, they are really stretching to call a metal cap gun one of the 10 worst toys. And they really missed the mark here, if they wanted to make fun of a derringer on a buckel near your crotch they would have been better off picking on the Matell version, it not only fired "Greenie Stick'em Caps", but it even shot a small plastic bullet out of the gun thanks to a 22 cabiber like Matell "Shootin' Shell".

Posted by: Frovingslosh on December 16, 2006 10:11 AM

Where do I buy one?

Posted by: paulewannacracker on December 17, 2006 4:28 PM

Whoever wrote this review is lying. Any kid who grew up firing caps and firing toy guns knows different. Sissys not wanted.

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 8:05 PM

I had one of these when I was a kid. It was indeed ultra-cool to have! There were 2 problems, though: (1) The gun wouldn't pop open if you didn't poke out your stomach exactly properly, so you would easily be outgunned when playing Bat Masterson with your pal. (2) The caps misfired more often than they fired.

Nevertheless, it was a good toy.

Posted by: anguilla on December 26, 2006 2:06 AM

I want one...

Posted by: pettyfogger on November 28, 2007 3:13 PM

Cheap cap guns used a flat hammer to fire the caps, which more often resulted in a misfire or a weak, disappointing poof. As a kid, I noticed that the more expensive cap guns had hammers with a pointy striker to penetrate the cap. Being experimentive, I held a cap in one hand while using a thumb tack to penetrate it with the other hand. It was a very satisfying bang, along with a momentary burst of pain in my fingers, and blackened soot on my skin and fingernail. Hot sand at the beach was a thousandfold more painful, so it wasn't what I considered a catastrophe. Now, if that's all the damage that could occur with direct contact with bare flesh, just what damage could possibly occur with a couple layers of clothing, not to mention the thickness of the belt, and a weak attempt to misfire a cap?

Posted by: marc_xenos on August 16, 2008 1:25 PM

Page 9

Bought this at a garage sale in the 70's when I was a kid.

Posted by: Roachmill on December 14, 2006 1:33 PM

Had this toy.

Posted by: Tom3 on December 15, 2006 4:59 PM

Had several versions of this toy including one that made edible candy. Favorite version was one that molded plastic sheets into toy cars and boats. Got burned several times just playing with these little hot plates.

Posted by: Tom3 on December 15, 2006 5:01 PM

Had this in the 60's. One of my favorite toys. My brother and I would spend hours down in the basement playing with this delightful mix of toxic goop, heat, electricity and lest we forget the water pan that was used to cool the searing hot metal plates. Red hot metal, electricity and water...now, THAT's the things childhood dreams are made of. Besides, my brother and I had so much fun and we survived the horrific dangers of being a child in the 60's with all the "dangerous" toys.

Posted by: clickmymouse on December 16, 2006 1:28 PM

I had a couple of these, including the "flower power" one and the "pic-a-doos." Also bought the Superman and Tarzan molds. When one of the units stopped working, my dad "fixed" it for me. The next time I used it, it shot a column of flame to the ceiling and BURNT A HOLE RIGHT THROUGH THE ALUMINUM MOLD. Would have shot through my forehead, too, if I had been leaning any farther over it.

Wonder I survived childhood...

Posted by: nitewing98 on December 16, 2006 1:36 PM

Bah - if you want REAL fun and danger, do what I did: I pedaled my bike around the neighborhood and got local gas stations and mechanic shops to give me those little lead things you use to balance wheels with. Melt 'em on the stove in a soup ladle, pour the lead into these molds, and you've got creepy, crawly lead paperweights to sell at school! (OK, so my fourth-grade sense of capitalism *was* highly developed... what of it?)

Posted by: gregwbrooks on December 16, 2006 2:33 PM

i received the incredible edibles as a present when i was about 10 or 11. mattel's vacuform, referred to below, is still a prized garage sale find by scale modelers.

Posted by: chacal la chaise on December 17, 2006 4:38 AM

I had a much later version as a kid. Creepy crawlies. Rather, it was my brother's. Nevertheless, he and I knew we could get burnt but never did 'cause we were careful. I thought it was pretty fun.

Posted by: TheRedSock on December 17, 2006 10:42 PM

I loved this as a kid. I don't think my brother and I ever got burnt.

Posted by: bean on December 18, 2006 1:00 PM

Vac-U-Form....now that's a toy! Always fun to watch the newbie user touch the center of the heating plastic sheet to test for doneness.....Or a simple slip of the hand while pumping a vaccum down..errrrrr

Posted by: regnadkcin on December 18, 2006 4:29 PM

"At least those who dodged serious injury or disfigurement could safely eat their creation."

That would have been the "Incredible Edibles" I got that one year and my younger brother got the Creepy Crawlers. I also had something that made flowers.

Posted by: waxwing on December 18, 2006 8:04 PM

In 1968 I was 7. I received this toy with a stern warning from my dad about the heat and to read the instructions, which I did.

I never got burned and had a blast!

Jeff

Posted by: jeff62 on December 19, 2006 1:49 AM

Yup, I wrote and illustrated a book on these kinds of things, still looking for a publisher or agent. Anyone?

Posted by: tpounders on December 19, 2006 12:52 PM

Greatest toy ever manufactured!!! Given the fact that I own a 2500+ Hot Wheels collection, this baby is still my "toy of choice"!! I am puzzled that the James Bond 007 Briefcase did not make the list, though...

Posted by: Skeeb Wilcox on December 20, 2006 11:18 AM

Another hysterical falsehood. Anyone who grew up with electric trains using transformers or perhaps Suzy Homemaker ovens knows better.

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 8:07 PM

A very cool toy.
My older sister's friend had one.
I remember cooking my hand on it and going to the Dr. and having my hand bandaged for a while.

Posted by: JAMJTX on January 2, 2007 1:46 AM

THIS WAS ONE OF THE BEST TOYS EVER!!!!!!

Posted by: chhjr on June 11, 2007 9:56 PM

Had this one too, and my brothers and I were never hurt. Seriously these parents must be horrible?

Posted by: etteloc on November 28, 2007 11:53 AM

Page 10

Ah, but you are wrong! This was one of the great toys of the 60's. My brother and I had great fights with this and Mighty Mo - a WWII howitzer knock-off this toy. The only one who was happy when it broke was my childhood cat.

Posted by: Quentin on December 15, 2006 10:52 PM

a 35 foot throw would mean an ejection speed of about 33ft/second, or 22 miles/hour, which means that I could have outrun the ball when I was in my 20s.

Another way to put it is that this 'cannon' could throw a ball about 2/3 of the way across a yard -- less than what I could do at age 10.

Compared to a cricket ball, this thing is , uhm, childsplay.

Posted by: darkonc on December 16, 2006 7:27 PM

I got in so much trouble after firing one of the cannons at my cousin when using this toy. People wanted to (and did) slap me, and ban me from their house. Never got over it.

We were 32 at the time.

I need to sue somebody.

Posted by: wolfshades on December 16, 2006 11:17 PM

Ha! "Every boy wants a Revco (?) toy. andsodogirls"

Perfect!

Posted by: waxwing on December 18, 2006 8:06 PM

Through the 70's, I was given, every 4th of July, a calcium carbide cannon that was sold at most fireworks stands. This item needed to have powdered calcium carbide placed into the chamber of a hollowed out tube (cannon)and then have a small amount of water added to it, liberating acetylene gas! Stinky, poisonous and soo much fun! Then a Bic lighter like type device was used to ignite the mixture of air and acetylene....Kappoww!!!
I never was hurt, injured anyone else or started a fire.
great memories!!

Jeff

Posted by: jeff62 on December 19, 2006 1:59 AM

Darkonc, I would like to know where you keep your Olympic gold medals. According to your calculations, you run a 9.09 (or faster) 100 YARD dash (which is slightly shorter than a 100 METER dash). The world record for the 100 m dash is 9.77 by the way. But just the same, cool toy, I wish I had one.

Posted by: chunkywheats on December 19, 2006 2:22 AM

"We'll all be gay when Johnny comes marching home!"

So much for "don't ask, don't tell"!

Posted by: RMc on December 20, 2006 5:00 PM

Either a girl wrote this or a sissy male. This is great fun when gay meant something decent and good.

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 8:09 PM

"When Johnny Comes Marching Home" is a song from the Civil War (War Between the States)
The Lyrics are pretty close, except for the lines about the "Johnny Reb".

And, I could run 20 mph when I was 11. But probably for 10 yards, not 100.

Posted by: Do_Tar on December 28, 2006 3:28 AM

I had one of this as a kid and it still sits in my dad's attic, where my kids discovered a couple of years ago. They love it and talk about how much they want to go back to South Carolina to play with the big cannon. Fortunately, the unfortunate flag withered away years ago, so I've thus far managed to avoid discussions about their being the great-great-grandchildren of Confederate officers and slaveowners. The Johnny Reb's muzzle velocity and the weight of the cannonballs result in a kinetic energy roughly equivalent to that of a piece of pumpernickel out of the toaster, so the possibilty of injuries is pretty slim. The Jarts I had might still be in the attic as well, but I'll definitely let them stay there.

Posted by: bwanadaktari on December 29, 2006 6:32 PM

You all don't get, Played as intended safe as can be. But if me and my crew had got hold of it. hmmm, lets put a sharp pencil in front of the ball, or a some gum and thumb tack combo, or wait better yet where are those darn fire crackers, does any one have the formula for greek fire.

Posted by: Mambomoon on January 10, 2007 6:21 PM

Remember every boy wants one... and so do girls... HAHAHA

Posted by: etteloc on November 28, 2007 11:55 AM

Page 11

So the parents felt that the dangers were "obvious" enough to collect a $14 million dollar jackpot, yet they themselves weren't smart enough to recognize the "obvious" dangers?

THEY bought the toy.

THEY apparently never examined it to see if it was dangerous.

THEY obviously knew about the projectile and its dimensions.

THEY allowed their kid to continue playing with the thing.

THEY never taught their kid not to shoot things down his throat.

And they are considered fit parents worthy of instant riches because... ? Any other kids should have been removed from that household immediately.

Posted by: sultano on December 16, 2006 9:29 AM

First off, great article! I saw this and had to comment from personal experience.

I ate one of these BSG Missiles (Fired in my mouth from point blank range) the same night the news released the story about the kid who died, but they never said he choked on it, they said "Ingested" so I thought it was poison (I was ten years old.), so for three days I was freaking out thinking a six inch Colonial Viper had attributed to my imminent demise.

Years later I was in the hospital with my father-in-law on New Years Day and a young boy was brought it with a G.I. Joe stuck in his nose (it was seriously lodged in there and took some doing getting him out of that adventure). Should the parents have measured the kid’s nostril passages fully extended before purchasing this toy? It's simply impossible to figure out what kids are going to do with something you buy them.

One other note of interest: 'Catch the Lawn Dart' was a popular game in my friend’s front lawn, by the time I was seven I knew all the doctors on a first name basis. I’m sure somewhere on the box the instructions of the game did not include: “Throw dart upwards towards the blinding sun and stand under it shouting ‘I got it!’”
At some point common sense needs to be emphasized by the parent to the child and hope the synapse makes the correct clicking noise.

http://www.badpuppet.blogspot.com

Posted by: jimmy3000 on December 16, 2006 10:52 AM

First thing, that was one of my best toys ever. I received those toys instead of StarWars toys and my first impression was that i was not lucky, since i knew that i can built different toys with all parts. And the big point: missiles launcher, yes it was real ! One night my mother said that a little boy died with that toy and it was said to return toys or missiles. I answered 'NO WAY I WILL KEEP IT ALL' then she said never put it in your mouth. I was near 10 and the younger in my family. So i played a long time ith without accident. Two years ago i put it into the trash, but was still functionnal but plastic was yellow and eurk ! So bad toys sometimes can be good ! Yvan

Posted by: Bergy01 on December 16, 2006 1:53 PM

Wait, wait, wait. The parents of the child who shot himself in the mouth sued? Their kid was stupid enough to shot a missle in his mouth!

Posted by: ixplodestuf on December 16, 2006 5:33 PM

WOW!!! Someone sued a company because their child did something ridiculously idiotic with said company's product? That is shocking....

/sarcasm

Posted by: chunkywheats on December 19, 2006 2:29 AM

I felt ripped off because I only had the "Scarab" as a kid (it also had the "safety missiles") while my friends and cousins had the Viper or Cylon Raider. But I do remember the controversy about choking - this was at the same time as Liquid Paper was banned in our school because of stupid kids killing themselves with that, too. Only takes one moron to ruin it for everybody.

Posted by: jayregner on December 23, 2006 6:54 PM

Give me a break.

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 8:19 PM

Page 12

fix the problem, re-release this product. MY CHILD NEEDS ONE NOW! Pure Awesomeness.

Posted by: chunkywheats on December 19, 2006 2:30 AM

I want! I want!

Posted by: ninjabarry on December 25, 2006 8:19 PM

Hellish, intestine-twisting scream ride? Why, bicycles must be pure terror for some tyke who pedals too fast. And perma-accelleration? So when does it reach warp speed, Scotty?

Posted by: marc_xenos on August 16, 2008 1:38 PM

Page 13

whoa, i want one of these. spark up and watch it melt, dude.

Posted by: Tom3 on December 15, 2006 5:03 PM

Since this list includes adult and youth "toys," you have left off perhaps the most hazardous: the red "english style," Huffy 3-speed bicycle produced and sold through the decade of the sixties and beyond. With its handlegrip shifter, it was certain to cause multiple moderate to severe ankle sprains (to go with testicular impact against the frame crossbar) in all who rode it habitually. But that was the kindest cut of all. To many (probably tens of thousands or more) riding across the path of a distant vehicle when the bike lost control and threw its rider towards the ground, their imminent next location was in a grave or awaking in a hospital facing months and years of recovery, and lifelong disability from serious to grave injury bestowed by their Huffies. A product that today would certainly put its manufacturer out of business, Huffman/Huffy Mfg company had the prevailing attitudes of those times, and the ineptitude of police agencies (DPD comes to mind as probably the worst) to thank for the fact that it is still in business selling bikes today.

Posted by: lamebrainedkid on December 16, 2006 5:07 AM

What? No Ricochet Racers?

Posted by: xenophore on December 16, 2006 4:51 PM

What, no mention of the toy that hurt?

Etch A Sketch (sp?)

Remember, you would hold it over your head and shake it to erase the drawing? My younger sister saw us do that and try to do the same. She wouldn't hold it high enough and hit herself on the forehead.

She would cry, Mom would assume we did something to her (we were 2, 7, and 12 at the time), Mom would take it away from her. That would make her cry more, so we would give it back to her. Then she would hit herself again.

The thing weighed a few pounds, and was made VERY sturdy. I don't ever recall one of those things breaking open, do you?

Larry

PS Jeff Foxworthy did a routine on some of these very same toys about 10 years ago. I gotta find that CD now.

Posted by: larry_from_pinole on December 16, 2006 9:58 PM

You know what Larry, don't sweat looking for that CD. I think we will make it without it. And if we get really desperate for some hee-larity we can always ask someone to pull our fingers, right? Yeeeeeeeehhhhaaaaawwwww!!!!

Posted by: chineselaundry on December 19, 2006 12:38 PM

These are still avilable at Walmart. Saw them there tonight.

Posted by: tamaya on December 19, 2006 11:52 PM

What, no Clackers?

Nothing means fun like slamming glass balls together!

Posted by: grend on January 2, 2007 10:20 AM

What strikes me as very interesting is; What is it that makes a toy recallable?
Why are some extremely dangerous toys sold year after year, such as bicycles, skateboards, inline skates, any sports related paraphernalia &/or hobby supplies.
What are the variables that are plugged into what equation to say if a given toy is going to be recalled or not?
Perhaps the illusion of safety, but lawn darts defy that.
Perhaps pure shoddy workmanship or plainly toxic materials...
i find it -fascinating- that many products-- Not only toys, but furniture and other items are found, after several 'accidents' that they have been made from, not only dangerous materials, but The Most Dangerous Materials imaginable...!
It's as if; The designer was specifically TRYING to make an extremely dangerous toy.
With many toys, there is the factor of overwhelming popularity and widespread usage that seems to negate the hundreds or thousands of injuries every year...
So; It's not a Safety issue... It would appear to be an Economic Socialization Mechanism that is implemented occasionally to sedate The Damp Masses into thinking that Big Brother is taking care of you... In some even-handed balance between Over Coddling & Supervision of The Mentally Retarded.
???

Posted by: chrstphre on January 18, 2008 5:57 PM

"The brightly colored disco ball cost 1,500 Chuck E. Cheese tickets. For the average skee-baller, that adds up to about 15 months of play at a cost of approximately $20,000."

wait... Seriously?

$20,000 / 1500 tickets = $13 and a third PER TICKET

not to mention 1500 tickets / 15 months = 100 tickets per month

I've never been to Chuck E. Cheese's but i've been to places like it and
i don't think they we're THAT much of a rip-off. I'd always play the thing that you would try to stop the lights and get 100+how ever many tokens went in since someone else won, even if you missed you got 7 or so tickets. I think someone messed upon the numbers.

But maybe Things work different where i'm from. (canada)