John McCain wants those monies, people. Everything you can spare after the brutal ream-job you just took in the market will be just fine. What with those leftist groups and Big Labor folk rallying around Barack Obama, John needs it more than ever if he hopes to ward of those oily polls and take this mother away from Obama and bring the campaign, full-circle, "back to the issues." In case you're wondering why it'll take a $10m cash infusion by Oct 13 to get back to the issues, did you forget that, issue-wise, it's not McCain who wants to "hand victory to Al Qaeda"? As an issue, you know who does? "The Obama Democrats do," and you knew that. To help lube you up, McCain's even providing a zippy pre-paid Fed-Ex package he'd like you to use in doling out that critical donation toward issue recalibration. Read the full pitch before it's too late and his issues slip away: