Quick, who's the lamest actor in the world? You're right! It is Nic Cage. Exactly what I was thinking. And pretty much exactly what film critics who had the displeasure of watching Cage in this weekend's Bangkok Dangerous were thinking. The remake of a 1999 Thai movie called, what do you know?, Bangkok Dangerous is holding steady at 10 percent on RottenTomatoes, but the small number of reviews seem to indicate that it wasn't widely screened for reviewers (or it was and they just didn't want to see it).

Anyway, the consensus emerging from the reviews is that the movie is awful and Cage's hair is worse. See for yourself:

"The only reason to see a Nicolas Cage movie these days is to have a good laugh at his latest wig."—Mirror.co.uk

"Move over, Anton Chigurh: there's a new contender for the worst-coiffed assassin in movie history, and it's Nicolas Cage in this remake of the Pang brothers' 1999 action thriller."—Nashville Scene

"Joe seems to have superhuman strength and reflexes—his hair, too, makes you look twice. It seems Cage wants the world to believe he still has long, flowing locks; if so, his big mistake was to graft bits of an old shag-pile carpet onto his head."—This Is London

"Like the rise and fall of the ocean tide or the wax and wane of the moon, Cage's hairline is a Hollywood indicator of the passage of time. Entire years can be gauged by it: 1987 was a sideburn phase, 1996 was the year of mangy mane and the release of Bangkok Dangerous signals 2008 as the beginning of hairplug era."—LA MetroMix

"Joe (Nicolas Cage hanging tough in a tatty Michael Jackson fright wig) is a lonely professional assassin in search of moral redemption."—Metro UK

"He appears sunken throughout, understandably depressed by his long, ropy mane of black hair; from a certain angle he's a ringer for Chrissie Hynde, of the Pretenders."—New Yorker

"...[N]ot to mention a Nicolas Cage doused with Clairol, make this hefty remake seem less dangerous than incongruous."—Variety

"But the fall movie season starts today in more subdued style, with a sole major release hitting the nation's multiplexes: Lionsgate's "Bangkok Dangerous," starring Nicolas Cage and his Hollywood hair."—Los Angeles Times

"And if you've been seeing the promotional materials and wondering what's up with Cage's hair this time—well, he has an answer for you, and it has nothing to do with vanity."—CinemaBlend

"Nicolas Cage, wearing a wig that looks fresh from the Dollar Store, is a professional killer who wants to end his career with a bang in Bangkok."—Kalamazoo Gazette