Hey, remember when fiery populist orator John Edwards was supposed to be a keynote speaker at the DNC? Ha ha. Yeah. Well now that he's no longer making an appearance on account of his affair with Rielle Hunter, poor John is being forced to lick his wounds far, far away from Denver. But where, exactly, is he?

At his summer home on Figure Eight Island in the Outer Banks, according to sources. ("Cross the bridge, drive along the causeway, and the rest of the world melts away," claims an ad for the resort community. Maybe not in this case!)

Supposedly, friends of his wife, Elizabeth, who herself is experiencing a good deal of fallout, are saying that she ordered him to pack up his things and move out. And so he's currently taking an extended "vacation" out on the coast.

As luck would have it, John and Elizabeth are scheduled to make a joint appearance at Hofstra University on Long Island on September 8 as part of the lead-up to the campus' October 15 presidential debate. University officials say they expect the Edwards' to keep their date, though we wouldn't bet on it.