• As expected: Cynthia Rodriguez's lawyers say their client will cite a "long period of infidelity on the part of Mr. Rodriguez" when she files for divorce today, and that A-Rod's "relationship with Madonna was the latest situation in a series of events" that put the marriage on the rocks. Madonna continues to deny it all.

• Unbalanced: Further suggesting senility, John McCain is expected to promise today that he'll balance the federal budget by the end of his first term in office. His campaign says, "The McCain administration would reserve all savings from victory in the Iraq and Afghanistan operations in the fight against Islamic extremists for reducing the deficit. Since all their costs were financed with deficit spending, all their savings must go to deficit reduction."

• Opening up: Speaking at the G8 summit, President Bush defended his decision to attend China's opening ceremonies, saying he didn't want to offend the Chinese people and can never pass up the opportunity to see some kick-ass ribbon dancing.

CLICKING HERE IS FUN!: Jalapeño poppers; Hitler loses his head; and more robot worship!

• Suspect salsa: As investigators clear the name of the tomatoes originally implicated in the nation-wide salmonella outbreak; suspicions turn to jalapeños.

• All's fare in love: A matchmaking New York cabbie has had one of his matches get engaged—his first ever! Ladies, who said no good could come of drunkenly bitching about guys on your taxi ride home.

• Wax off: Just minutes after Berlin's Madame Tussaud's museum opened for the first time Saturday, a German man rushed in and ripped the head off a Hitler wax figure. Nicole Kidman's wax figure watched the spectacle, looking permanently shocked, much like Kidman in real life.

• Tick tick tick: French researchers have found more evidence that men have ticking biological clocks, too; there just aren't entire entertainment franchises devoted to them ... yet.

• Robot-arama, continued: Wall-E mania continues. Some chick in Minneapolis cries every time she watches the trailer and it makes the news. New York Times columnist Frank Rich says "Wall-E for President."