left arrow BackNext right arrow
< BACK TO Fresh Intelligence

British Teens Imperil the Future of the Nation by Climbing Things, Jumping Off Them

Have you heard about the totally dangerous and crazy new trend that is sweeping the UK? It's called "tombstoning," and it involves bored British youths hurling themselves off piers and rocks and cliffs into bodies of water dozens of feet below! Which we imagine bored British youths have been doing as long as piers and rocks and cliffs and bodies of water have been in existence, but it's getting to be summertime and newspapers need to manufacture fake trends to fill up column space. Anyway, it's evidently becoming such a problem that a lady whose son broke his neck jumping off a 30-foot-pier decided to make public a photo of the poor kid with tubes coming out of his mouth hooked up to a ventilator in a hospital. "If we can stop someone else from tombstoning by releasing this picture then it will be a bonus," she tells the Sun.

Tombstoning, which the Sun describes as a "craze," is certainly gaining in popularity of late (our favorite press mention, from the May 12 issue of the Irish News: "Drunk People 'Stupid' to Enter the Sea"), but it's not exactly new: a Nexis search produces 637 hits for "tombstoning," the earliest dating back to 1995. And wouldn't you know, the Guardian referred to it as a "new summer craze" back then, too!

The Guardian also offers an explanation as to why kids all of a sudden decided to climb things and then jump off of them, other than because that's what kids do: indoctrination by way of an extreme soda marketing campaign! A group of six teenagers who had to be rescued from a jagged rock outcrop seemingly told authorities that they decided to go tombstoning after watching this Pepsi Max ad featuring extreme grandmothers.

We imagine it's only a matter of time before Mountain Dew is blamed for this.

Comments

Be the first to respond. Post your comment below.

Advertisement


Post a comment

Your comment will not be visible for about a minute. If you don't see your comment when the page reloads, do not post it again. Reload the page in a minute, and you'll see it.

 


Britney Bows To K-Fed's Superior Parenting Skills

Elle Canvassed Stars For Their Tips On Beating The Recession

Scott Peterson, Blogger

Sulzberger Kid Hates Internet

Let Them Eat Kate

Metro: Rogue Black Gangs Assaulting Women On Subways!

Dead Actor Kills In The Dark Knight

George Bush Blinking in Iranian Showdown?

David Carr and Emily Gould Versus The Internet

Little Girl Flees From President


EXECUTIVE EDITOR:


MANAGING EDITOR:


CONTRIBUTORS:
, , and others


Email us at:
tips@radaronline.com
or IM: TipRadar







He's Still Rock and Roll to Me
In praise of Billy Joel

Full Court Press
Charles Kaiser on "that New Yorker cover," and the rest of this week's media winners and sinners

Missing in Action
Heath Ledger's Dark Knight performance isn't Hollywood's first posthumous success

Barbarians at the Plate
Radar selects baseball's most scandalous all-star team

Full Court Press
The New York Times Magazine pens a love letter to Rush Limbaugh





Black, Large, and In Charge
What the funk

Campaigning with Jibjab
Just follow the bouncing ball

Geeks Fight Back
They're likely to toss a few deadly sharp barbs at you

Feist does Sesame Street
It's still cool to hang out with B. Bird

My Dog, The Snitch
Only your best friend could call you on your problems