• The Bill Clinton template: James Carville, former Clinton adviser, speculates that Eliott Spitzer could hold onto his position and weather the storm, a lá the former president following the Monica Lewinsky scandal.
• Shot in the dark: The space shuttle Endeavour launched early this morning in Florida.
• Pay your own way: Britney Spears' newest lawyer says that K-Fed should foot his own legal bill, noting Federline's extravagant waitress-tipping practices. "He needs to take responsibility for the diligent work being done on his behalf," said Brit's legal eagle.
• Thou shalt recycle: Speaking of hell, those who do not recycle are considered to be committing a deadly sin, according to the Vatican. Also added to the list are taking drugs and becoming obscenely wealthy.
• Fighting the bulge: A pregnant Lisa Marie Presley is suing Britain's Daily Mail for saying she was getting tubby due to an unhealthy appetite.
• Bodily harm: Iranian students calling for the execution of three Israeli military officers are encouraging their countrymen to sell their kidneys to raise bounty funds.