'MOM, YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!' Album

• Sour Candy: Madonna has unveiled the cover of Hard Candy. This has really been the week from hell, hasn't it?

• Invisible Ink: In a move that's sure to piss off Madge (which is honestly justified), Britney Spears has spent two grand having her Kaballah tattoo removed. Bonus! Britney helps out lil' sis Jamie-Lynn.

• Critical Mass: Destined to suck miserably, The Return of Jezebel James makes chum out of an otherwise stellar cast and showrunner. It bows tonight; this will help you get through it if choose to watch anyway.

• Lies, Lies, Lies!: Former Bill Clinton counsel turned Barack Obama supporter Craig Gregg reveals how Hilary Clinton is misleading the American public. And they said she couldn't do politics.

• Heather Mills Grabs for Booty
• Holy Hell Is Tom Cruise Crazy