Are you a 30-year-old lady? Single? Well, writer Lori Gottlieb has a piece of advice for you: time to "settle" and marry, say, a guy who peppers dinner conversations with gems like: "I'm fascinated by comas" and "I have a strong interest in terrorists" rather than face the inevitable fate of being eaten by your cats when you die, sad and alone.

According to Gottlieb, whose personal essay appears in the March issue of the Atlantic, "Every woman I know—no matter how successful and ambitious, how financially and emotionally secure—feels panic, occasionally coupled with desperation, if she hits 30 and finds herself unmarried." And rightly so, says Gottlieb, who reminds us that "Rachel from Friends" dumped a nice orthodontist (remember "Barry"?) only to wind up a single mother, while Carrie Bradshaw ditched good guy Aidan for the Mr. Big who'll presumably leave her at the altar in the Sex and the City movie.

For those picky spinsters in-training, Gottlieb urges: "Settle! That's right. Don't worry about passion or intense connection. Don't nix a guy based on his annoying habit of yelling "Bravo!" in movie theaters. Overlook his halitosis or abysmal sense of aesthetics. Because if you want to have the infrastructure in place to have a family, settling is the way to go." After all, if you wait past your biological prime, men are likely to pass over you in favor of younger ovaries.

Well natch, some lady journos aren't taking too kindly to Gottlieb's words of wisdom, so Lori's defending her stance on the HuffPo today, shrilly. No doubt the fur will be flying on this catfight for awhile. In the mean time, we'll be home sobbing, with our cats.