NEED A LIFT? Simmons

Wednesday night at the Hard Rock Cafe, 59-year-old Simmons, along with co-front man Paul Stanley, were hawking Power Tour electric guitars to the tween and teen demographic to add to their multi-million-dollar fortune. The guitars, toy-like mini electric instruments made by Hasbro, interactively let youngsters play along with 12 pre-recorded songs or plug into an mp3 player and jam along to their
own tunes.

Naturally, Stanley had to try and smash one. However, in what amounted to a metaphor for the rocker's former band, he failed. Backstage, the two did what they do best these days: product endorsement. But while Simmons struggled to keep the topics on all things KISS, we attempted to stray a bit, asking if he'd consider returning to his birth nation of Israel and taking on a political leadership role. (He's been know to get political).

Before responding he complained we were the second reporter to take the interview into non-Power Tour and KISS Tooth Tunes territory (the kids toothbrush plays two minutes of "Rock & Roll All Night" to make brushing last longer!). Eventually, though, the man born Chaim Witz took pause, presumably to envision himself as the leader of the Land of Milk and Honey, demurring: "No. Democracy is a wonderful idea and ideal, but I would rather be a benevolent dictator. I'm not a big fan of deciding foreign policy and all types of things by committee."

The conversation shifted rapidly and landed inevitably on Simmons's famous plastic surgery. The star of A&E reality show Gene Simmons Family Jewels joked about his newest enhancement: "I made my shmeckle twice as big. So there are some advantages. It spins. It has a spin and dry cycle and whips up a good goddamn froth. That's F-R-O-T-H."

Thanks for the spelling, Gene.