SIR SPEWY John

• Tomorrow's war Today: Matt Lauer classifies the Iraq fiasco as a civil war—the first TV anchor to defy the White House in such a (glib) way. Kofi Annan nearly agrees and says, "[W]e are almost there [at civil war]," which President George probably missed as he still confuses Kofi with Mace Windu from the Jedi Council.

• Meanwhile: Bush refuses to even discuss whether Iraq is in a civil war, shovels the problem off on Al Qaeda, and thanks Estonia for its deep contribution to the war on terror.

• Memorializing the bridge and tunnel incident: Pharrell will be joining Princes William and Harry in remembering Princess Diana through a Bob Geldof-like concert. Other acts include The Killers, Beyoncé, and more bands that became famous after she died in 1997.

• YouTubers cell out: A month after getting $1.65 billion in Google stock, the YouTube founders ink a deal with Verizon to provide access to the wireless company. Yes, that's right—for just $15 a month, you can watch the most important online videos on a two-inch screen—the way they look best.

• She wants a kid, man: Nicole Kidman, who has two adopted children, wants to push a baby out of her belly. It's something she's never done before—probably because her former flame is a couch-jumping, Xenu-humping, cocktail-swirling, closeted cartoon crusader.